The Best Treatment Ever!

This is the end of treatment 3 and I feel really good! I mean really good!!!! Almost completely normal, he he he. I have the occasional pain or side effect, but not very much. Christmas was the best day!. Of course no day is complete without a nap and planning. I have my medication schedule down, my energy level isn't as surprising, and knowing when to eat and what to eat has been really helpful. I am so grateful to feel so good. Last treatment was the hardest and there were a lot of days that I felt so bad this one has made up for it. And it couldn't have been timed better with the holidays and people in town, dinners, get together, etc etc. I think having so many events is helpful too. There was a cycle of not feeling up to anything and then not feeling good because I wasn't doing much, nothing ever really took my mind off of it. So, with that I am off, friends are coming over for a movie night and I am ready with my milk duds, popcorn, and red hots! yum!!

Merry Christmas!

I had a great Christmas! I spent the day with family and friends and could not have felt better. I ate a ton of great food and even got to nap in the middle. Tomorrow I have one a few more events to wrap up the season. It was really nice to spend the day relaxing and laughing. So much laughing!
Love you! Janice

Dr visit and batch 3 down the hatch!

I saw the doctor today and got an update on my treatment schedule. So, one more chemo treatment to go!!!!!! YEAH!!! That will be Jan 2nd. He says two to three weeks of getting my strength back, then surgery. 2 weeks to recuperate and then 8 more weeks of chemo, yum, then 33 straight sessions of radiation, M-F of course. So, that's the news. Chemo during soccer season. Sucks! I love soccer season!!!!! It really is one of the top 85 things I love about my job! I could even narrow it to the top 15 things I love about my job. I don't want to be on chemo for soccer! I feel like a two year old stomping my foot and pouting. But on the bright side, I will be nearly cancer free, if not completely cancer free by soccer! Yeah, still I don't want to be on chemo for soccer!!!!!! Me on chemo for soccer means I have to pay others to do what I would normally be doing, so budget sucks, I love walking around and personally talking to every coach every game. I think it adds so much to the program and one of the reasons I think there was such a high retention of last years coaches. Also, I think that Saturday morning is the definition of healthy families, outdoors, family oriented activity, physical activity, building self esteem in kids etc etc etc. I am worried I will not be my usually happy, running around self during the season. So, I'm a little disappointed. Also in March is my sisters wedding, me in a dress, bald and half a boob down.

OMG!!!

J.Crew has a dog line!!!!!!!! Ohhh Kona Bean is going to get some cool stuff!!!! crewmutts! How great is that and how long have they had it and I have not known? I am a regular J Crew shopper. J. Crew day is the day my order is scheduled to arrive and I talk about it like I am going to Hawaii. Anyway, I found the crewmutts stuff buried deep in the men accessories section ? Guys are the only people that shop for dog stuff? whatever! Ok, I am really going to go get ready for work now. :) Have a great day, I will be dreaming of cashmere dog sweaters, mmmmm yummy!

Half Baked

I am half way there! Looking back, it's not so bad. I could do that again, a few times. The second batch was worse than the first, but still not as bad as I thought. I think that falling down, damn stormtroopers, weakened my fighting attitude a little. My foot still looks like it belongs on a peacocks ass, but it is feeling a little better everyday. I really was afraid it was broken, on chemo nothing heals fast anyway, but I just knew the bones would never heal right and I would have a club foot the rest of my life. I pictured a pirate- peg leg, bandanna, and an eye patch, only my eye patch would go where my boob used to be. Great, Halloween forever. Thank God that it wasn't broken, but I think it wore me down. It took a lot longer for the symptoms to hit but when they did they stayed a little longer and hit a little harder. The first round I took 5 pills total for nausea, this round I took like 15 pills, two rolls of tums, and a lot more vicodin, stupid peacock foot. I have talked to a few people that are really close to my age that recently did chemo and they were saying every round is different, so I have high hopes for the next one. I also wonder about our powerful minds. I read about symptoms before starting and know that some of these things can get in your mind and aren't even happening. I read about a study where 33% of the men on the placebo lost their hair. Wow! Could you imagine! When I first read it I could hear Napoleon Dynamite yelling "Idiots!" But now, I wonder how many of my own symptoms were in my head. I think I had almost everyone of them. I refuse to list them all, they need no more attention and it sounds way to whiny. I think the worst was just being sad. The past two days were really tough mostly emotionally. One minute I was great the next I was near tears. Work was really helpful in keeping me busy but the stairs to my office were hard on my foot. I am going to try to use the stairs three times today, think I can do it? Once to go into my office, after the management meeting and before a staff meeting. The next time for sure to go home and one in the middle somewhere. I'll let you know how I do. Have a great day, I'm off to wash my bald head.
Love you guys! Janice

Just like Darth Vader

The other day after I fell down I went right back to bed where I really hoped I could not fall down or hurt myself anymore. It's no secret that I am balding and it is safe to assume that I am pretty pale. Much like Darth Vader. So I have been thinking about him a lot lately, just knowing that the next time I look in the mirror, I will see him, sans mask and breathing apparatus, staring back at me. Well I saw him looking back, but not the way I thought it would happen. I was lying in bed, leg propped up on a billion pillows with ice pack, my tray in place over my lap, where I am propped up on another billion pillows to use ergonomically, when I catch a glimpse of myself in my closet door mirror. Mind you my bed is all burgundy and brown, my lap top is pink, as are most of the things I am wearing including my knitting that is sticking out of the side of my tray. I see my little pale bald head and there he is. This is how Darth Vader rules the death star I know it! Only instead of the death star it the YMCA sports and recreation department and instead of a cool black paneled display with screens showing the galaxy and beyond, it's a dell inspiron and blackberry. But really I know that the Darth Vader we know and love is a facade. He does really use a pink lap top while icing his various body parts that are still real enough to swell when injured from light saber battles. And I didn't fall, a storm trooper tripped me!

X-Rays are good!

So in my weaken state I fell down the other day. My foot popped a million times, grew too big to put in any shoe and turned purple. Everything hurt, even sleeping. So off to the doctor I went. I didn't even know what doctor to go to. I called the oncologist but went to my regular doc. Of course they wanted x-rays and they are good. I still don;t know about driving on it, I can not put any pressure on it and am worried that if I was driving, I wouldn't be able to break. So, I am officially on the couch. Funny, I can do more on chemo, ok clearly not walk, but life is pretty normal with chemo comparatively.
I am practicing my knitting, I think it's not too bad. I am using fuzzy yarn though, so you can't see all the "button holes" in the scarf. Maybe it will be a Christmas gift for a lucky someone! He he he
Have a good night! Love Jan

Falling down and getting up

I had a great Reiki session today! A little sound therapy and I feel so relaxed and well. Before the session I fell and messed up my ankle really bad. It was so bad I couldn't drive and could barely walk. The first 5 min of therapy were spent on my ankle and it felt better right away. But the real test was when I got up and could had no pain at all! I bought a topical lotion and hope it will keep it feeling like that for a while. I called into work and will be working from home tomorrow to avoid the stairs to my office one more day. I still can not believe that I fell down so fast. I was standing up one min, and the next on the ground flat.
Overall this treatment was better than the first. I was really tired last night and today and pretty much sleep until I wake up hungry, eat and go back to sleep, with the exception of the fall down interruption to my routine, I think it works well as a way to get over though the yucky stuff.
I'm off to eat or sleep, I forget which one I did last!
Love Janice

Second time around much easier than the first

I have been having a great weekend. I could use more sleep and might pay for that later, but I was able to visit with friends last night and go to a wedding tonight. I wish I would have had the energy to stay longer, it looks like it was off to be a really great wedding! I had so much fun and got to see so many great people! Congrats to Steph and Eric, it was a really great wedding!

I have been eating a ton! Nachos and pancakes still rave at the number crave slot, but I see ooey gooey butter bars on the counter that are sounding really great. And broccoli an all time fav has also been a daily staple. I went to the farmers market and got some organic broccoli and it looks so good. The stems are almost as dark as the top! Wow! That is going to taste sooooo gooooood~!

Ok, I am off to get some much needed rest and maybe watch an 80's movie too.
Have a great rest of your weekend!
Love ya! Janice

More Ovaltine Please!

Treatment #2 is in! I was better prepared for this one. I was a little tired going in and I wish I would have slept a lot more this week, but it's not bad at all. I have good news from the doctor, it is shrinking!!!!! YEAH!!! Also, my blood-work is good, I am still low in iron, shocker! but other than that, everything is in the healthy range.
My hair is falling out by the grip loads, I say grip loads, because unless you pull it, you would never know.
ok, I'm tired, off to nap or go to bed for the night, who knows.... he he he
Love you all and to all a good night, ha, (such a nerd) Ok, really, thank you for all of the calls and well wishes, the prayer groups, cards, texts, etc! I need all of them and know they are making a difference!
Love Janice

Hair today gone tomorrow!

So my hair is falling out. My hair was getting too long so it really is good timing. Shaving it was fun and everything, but those little hairs were everywhere for days!
Also, treatment #2 in tomorrow. I plan on working in the morning and taking it easy after treatment. I plan on going to work on Friday too, but I'll play it by ear. Other than a wedding on Saturday, congrats to Eric and Steph, I plan on sleeping and laying around like a professional bum!
I'll let you know how it goes!
Love Jan

really I feel good

Ok, so some people are really shocked I feel so good. I am kind of pleasantly surprised myself. I was prepared to feel much worse, and of course hoping to feel great. A few friends have asked if I really feel good or if I am only saying I feel good to stay positive or to not let them know I really feel bad, to keep others thinking positive. Wow, I never even had those thoughts. I really do feel good. I am starting to not look so great. My skin is pale, I have dark circles under my eyes and my skin is breaking out like crazy. Somehow I still lost 2 lbs this week eating like a kid who broke out of fat camp. It's a strange mix of puberty and pregnancy all at once. I do think the lump is shrinking. I'm not sure if it is finally not traumatized anymore from daily pokes, prods and the ever terrible biopsy. Either way, it is smaller and I am thinking positively. I've also heard that visualization works well. So, I think of all kinds of attacks. One of my favorites is cowboys circling some kind of beastly animal shooting their guns in the air while the beastly cancer shrinks and cries, melting almost like the wicked witch. I finish my visualizations with 'and Janice lived happily ever after'. It's like a fairy tale, cancer is!
Kisses and wishes! Love Jan

lemonland

You may have noticed a new button on the right side of the blog. It should take you to lemonland. A breast cancer web site that I just found. I love it! It is fresh like lemonade. Yummy, sounds good! Anyway, there are some really good information. The Mayor, the creator of the site, had a lot of family history of breast cancer and wanted some info. At 21, there was nothing doctors could really tell her, she continued to educate herself and has done so much already. Her story is better at the site. I am loving the info and am happy to see something that is so helpful while really cool and young. I love the lemons in the egg carton poster. Enjoy!
http://worldwidebreastcancer.com/
love jan

mmmmm... I'm full

Wow! What a great Thanksgiving! My family and Heidi's family all came over here and we had the best dinner! I will put some pictures up soon. It was really nice to spend the afternoon with all of my favorite people. My dad has been sick and wanted to skip it to avoid getting me sick. I made him come anyway and we gave each other a little air hug when he left. It just wouldn't be the same without him! How can you have thanksgiving without your dad? Overall it was an excellent day full of big belly laughs and great food! My pie, my only responsibility, was perfect! I think it is the best chocolate pecan pie I have made to date. Every time I make it, it gets better and better. YUM!

So far, I have been eating non stop and haven't gained a pound. That is one good thing about chemo! I am always hungry, and can snack all day long. I am starting to see some physical signs of chemo. I have a bruise on my arm I don't remember getting. I usually don;t bruise at all, but one just seemed to pop up out of no where. It's a little sore, but not bad. Also, my skin is starting to react. It is super soft, I've never had really soft skin, but right now it is sooooo soft and smooth. The other day I looked really pale and had some pretty dark circles under my eyes. I hated that! But some makeup took it away so fast, then I looked wide awake and as healthy as ever.
Happy Black Friday! Love jan

Gobble Gobble Gobble

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Everyone is coming over here for good food and I'm already sooooo hungry! But nothing is good! I started eating an apple but it tasted awful, then started eating some toast, but that wasn't good either. The smells are great, but I think the taste might be different this year. Oh well, I guess I won't overeat and gain a million pounds... :)

So, what are you thankful for? I am thankful for so much.....
Life
Family
Friends
I know it is so cliche, but so true!
Humor!!!!
Books
Cell Phones
Lap tops
80's movies all day with sister while we cook
Blankets and Quilts
Fuzzy clogs that Edie gave me :)
lab rats
chemo nurses- It's all about Katrina. She's a great mix of smart, kind, capable, proactive, educated,
oncologists
Dr D!!!! My surgeon
Coffee
God
Blogs he he he
Humor!! I know it's a repeat, but really!
My community
The Y
Pink cheetah key club!- Huh you say? I gave my closest friends and family members a key to my house, what if I am in bed and someone wants to come over, it's a long walk to the door, so I made everyone their own key, of course it is pink cheetah print! I love that the guys in the family have all these big truck keys and very guys keys with nothing decorative on the entire ring, and then.... a pink cheetah key pokes out from behind the other keys... makes me smile!
Kona Bean- my baby girl has been so stressed out about all of this, she never leaves my side, petty her is the best!
Ok, this list will go on forever, right now, I will shower and get ready for people to start coming over, maybe I'll go blond today.... hmmm fun!
Have a great turkey day!
Love Janice

A Noraml Day!!!

I am so excited! I have been awake since 6:45 AM straight!!!!! It's a record!!!!! I went to work and had a great day. I am of course home a little early, but I'm ok with that! It was kind of a funny day, day before Thanksgiving is really never a regular work day, but I did get some important things done and all of the things that were a 'must do' for me today. Now I am home to finish a few things before Thanksgiving. Everyone will be coming here for dinner and I am so happy it's going to be here. And, the best part about it, I am not in charge! Miranda, AKA Sister, and Heidi, the roommate/BFF, will fight for the honor of being officially IN CHARGE. As long as it is not me, and I kind of still get to host, I am very happy! I love having people over and look forward to tomorrow. My only responsibility.... to make a Chocolate Pecan Pie! Of course there are things I want to do, a load of laundry, change my dog's sheets (yes she uses sheets! What does your dog sleep on? jeez!), run the party silverware through the dishwasher, set the tables, plan out the bowls, put post its everywhere to direct everything..... blah blah blah..... I know I get a little crazy with the planning, but I want things to go smoothly for the hostesses and a little planning will only help. But guess what, if I only take a nap and don't get anything done, it will all be A-OK! In fact, maybe better!

Ok, update on my thoughts....
Chemo was much better than I thought. The first few days were touch and go and i think my anxiety about chemo was just as bad as any side effect. Now that I feel almost 100%, I am ready for more. The only negative is the metallic taste in my mouth. YUCK! Water even tastes bad and I love water! I have to use the little crystal light flavor packs you add to bottle water to make it drinkable. When I haven't had anything to eat or drink in a while I feel like I have been sucking on a flag pole flavored lollipop or my tongue ran away with the fire house pole. So gross! I wouldn't say my energy is 100% but it is much better than yesterday.

I went to see my surgeon yesterday. He has been my lead doctor up until the chemo started. What a wonderful person!!!! I am so thankful that I was referred to him! After my port surgery, I thought it was infected, all red and tight, a little puffy and the skin was hot. Of course it was Friday afternoon, so he was really worried about it over the weekend. He told me he would ask the answering service to call him if I called even though he wasn't on call that weekend. So when i saw him yesterday, he said he almost called me a few times over that weekend just to see how I was! I am so impressed with this doctor! He said he didn't call because he didn't want to be a mother hen! I swear I have the best doctor in the world!! Other than that, there was really nothing new at the appointment. He said cuts seemed to be healing well and he will see my in a few months to see how much my cancer has shrunk! I will miss him and his staff!

OK, I am off to get something to eat and rid my mouth of the ever invasive taste of flag pole.
Love and hugs! I will probably post again since I am home, awake, alert, and have soooo much to say!

Day 5 came and went, so did one month!

I really wanted to go to work today, but I never made it. I slept in this morning and took my time getting ready. I had good energy and then I couldn't tell if I was hungry or sick so I ate a little. Well after eating, I must nap. I thought I would wake up 30 min later and go in. Well, 3 hours later, I woke up, all dressed for work and everything. Only now it was 3:30. So, I just stooped by work and dropped off a key and OK my dog to the park. We walked around for a min and I got too tired to do anything else. Thank God for Heidi, she drives everywhere! I'm not sure how much strength I will have once I get where I am going. The good news is I didn't need any pain meds for the bones anymore. Looks like 2-3 days and then back to normal.

Another thought, yesterday was my one month anniversary of being diagnosed. Wow, only 1 month. I took a second to look at how much my life has changed. One month ago, I had so many projects going on! Steering committee for SRL, Youth Committee for the gang task force, rape crisis counselor, full time college student, full time employee, ans really so much more, but I can't even remember. Now, my life is not about the things I am doing for other people, but focusing on the care I am providing myself. I am no longer text flirting, ok well as much, and my hair doesn't get stuck when I roll up my window. My dog is on my lap more, my family calls me every day. I have had more I love yous than I ever remember, I can wear sweats all day and still feel productive, my road rage is better, my conversations are slower and more meaningful, my anxiety is lower, my house is cleaner, all the little projects I had lined up around the house are done- thanks dad, jacob, sister, and heidi!- I wake up when I want and don't run to get the phone, I have voicemail :) Anyway, what a difference a month can make. I miss my old life, my projects, clothes, makeup, boys, hair choices, etc.... But I'm not sad about where I am now, not at all! I could have never asked or even dreamt of all of the positives that would have been pushed forward into my life.
Have a great day! I did!
And Yoli, who is at the end of what I am starting- Good luck! I hope you are recovering well!!!
Love Janice

Day 4 of first chemo

I'm tired, and have been eating everything! I don't ever remember being so tired. I wake up, eat, lay down to just close my eyes and wake up hours later wondering what time it is, eat some more and close my eyes again. Round and round I go. I have only needed meds for nausea twice, not bad! and the bone aches have gone mostly away, so I might get through an entire day without any vicodin! I have weird food cravings, nachos and pancakes for lunch washed down with cranberry juice really hit the spot. Wow! Ok, time to go close my eyes for a min, then maybe another really hot shower, the best things about the shaved head is I don't have to wait for it to dry to go to bed!
Have a great day and thank you for all of the support and well wishes, they mean so much to me!
Oh, I almost forgot, I did manage to watch the last 3 min of the Cowboys game and they won! Go Cowboys!!!!
Much love! Janice

It's kicking it

I'm tired today. I had a white blood cell booster yesterday and it makes you bones work overtime to make more white blood cells, hence the name white blood cell booster. he he he! It makes me really sleepy and achy. So, I've done almost nothing today. I didn't even know what time at one point. I loved it and hated it at the same time. I was so proud of myself not caring about the time and so confused that it was already so late in the day. Kind of nice since I woke up on the queasy side. The meds they give to control the side effects are really great and really effective. I'm really grateful for the research, survivors, victims, scientists and medical personal that have made these things available. It is making my life so much easier than I thought it would be. Ok, I see another half of a vicodin in my future, so I'll see you later.
Lots of love! Janice

My first chemo

It went well. I should have posted a little sooner, I know people are wanted to get an update. But man, I have been busy and really trying not to be. How does that happen? Anyway, my firs chemo has been really good so far. Trying to stay good with the diet, small healthy meals, but it's hard. While my diet has been really really good for the last 6 months, I eat only a few times a day, not 6!

Ok Chemo, sorry, my mind drifts a lot. K, went it, they used the port I had put in surgically last week. It had healed nicely and the infection was pretty mild. They drew some blood to get my counts and put in some saline, then the biggest syringe I've ever seen was pushed for about 15 min.

Yummy drugs!

What drugs? I don't know what you are talking about?

Then they added a little bag and in about 30 more min I was all done, they added a little more saline to clean it and I was done!

I got home and ate and took it easy. I did get a little nauseous around 9:30 and took half of a pill to help with it, I ended up taking the other half 40 min later and it seemed to work great. I just feel like I have really bad heart bun and am a little more tired than normal. My energy is really low, but I am happy and feel so much better than I ever dreamed I would!

Also, BIG THANK YOU to everyone that has called and e-mailed and smiled at my bald head. I am loving all of the support! And to Melissa P for the memory foam bed top! OMG Princess with no pea tonight! And to Tiffany for the great hat and t-shirt! I love them!!

K-I'm going to finish my daddy do list and make a turkey sandwich to wash down some more pills! Goodnight and much love! Janice

Shaving of the head

My new hair cut!

The first buzz!

The 80's wave! Nice with purple and pink undertones :)


ummmm... not really a hawk, but maybe enough to start a band

Lines!

Don't hate me because of my great hair.

Of course my initials are shaved into my head.

YEAH!


Please don't stop now~

A girl will always twirl her hair

All done! Perma-piggs and side bangs, the no fuss always done hair-do! My niece said I didn't even need hair ties.

Does this hair cut make my ears look big?

All done!

This is not a tragedy, this is an experience

I called one of my survivor friends last night and I am so glad I did. I was feeling pretty anxious about chemo and she really made me feel soooooo much better! She said that this is not a tragedy, this is an experience! She had some great things to say and it made me feel so much better!
I had a great day and had enough time after getting everything done to sit and meditate for about 15 min before my appointment. I will post pictures later of my really cool shaved head.

Chemo in 15 hours!

I'm excited and not so anxious right now, but was earlier today. I think I feel better because I got so much done today. New super soft sheets on the bed, counter clean, food in fridge, head shaved, bucket ready, pills ready, folder ready, and most of my errands are done. I do need to go to the bank and get a pile of books ready. I'm just ready to start killing off the cancer!
Have a great night, I will! Love J

Best grades I have ever gotten!

OMG!!!! I just looked at my grades and cried! I got all A's! 2 A's and A-'s. Wow!!!! That's honors baby! BTW, the last 6 weeks of school was the busiest time for all of them, final papers, presentations, etc while I was being tested and diagnosed with cancer. It was so hard and there were so many times I almost gave up. And these are not sympathy grades either, there was a point when I thought I could not finish my thesis and I called my pro to see if I would pass with what I had, she said sure, no A and probably not a good grade, but I would pass. That was all I wanted at the time, BIB teachers didn't only met me for the weekend and had no idea what was happening. I am so happy and pleased! Not only did I finish, but I did with A's!!!!!!!
Final Grd
PHIL-443-OVI24Values Formation A
BUS-499C-OVI24 Baccalaureate Thesis-Part III A-
BUS-440-OVI24 Leadership in Organizations A-
BIB-300B-AVI02 Jesus, Church and Society A
Ok, so I finished a lot of things I needed to get done, some great sheets and some great beanies were purchased are being washed tonight. I need to get a few more things and then I can hibernate comfortably.
Chemo in 2 days, 1 more day of normal life. I wonder what it will be like and while I am prepared for the worst, I am hoping for the best. Hope with me!
Goodnight, sleep tight! love j

I love working

I had a full day, working, dinner, blackberry lessons, etc etc..... I am so tired but I love it! I am tired and not from too much vicodin or from dizzy spells. I got a pile of books to read, a belly full of my last heavy meal, a pair of clippers, a cozy place to curl up when I don't feel good, a schedule that is color coded and organized, a wig, comfy clothes that are washed and ready to wear, a pair of shoes just for hospital visits, good moveis to watch, and nice chair in my room for people to sit in while they visit me. I think I am about as ready as possible for chemo! Hey Cancer~ Say hello to my little friend!

Hi Ho, back to work I go~

Yeah! I get to go back to work tomorrow. I still can't do PE, but I can work! Yeah!!! i am so excited! Time cards, fundraiser stuff, monthly reports, and some organizing are going to be my day! I can not wait. In fact I am off to bed, so I can get all the sleep I need. I am still pretty weak from surgery and I think the surgeon will call me in to look at my not so great surgical site. It is still really red and the skin is tight and shiny, not so great, I have been on antibiotics for 3 days too and I'm not sure it is getting better. Maybe I'm just not a port kind of girl! I really want to be though. Chemo starts on Thursday and the drug will burn my skin if I touch it! Ouch Hot! I'm not sure how something that can give you 3rd degree burn on your skin can be ok in your veins, but I think some questions are just best left unanswered.
Also, i get to learn how to use my phone tomorrow! Yippeee!

More Questions

Ok, let's wrap those final questions
What type of cancer is it?
Stage 2 Invasive Ductal CA or Infiltrative Ductal CA

Does it run in your family?
Kind of, there are people in my family that have had Cancer, but they were in their 60's or over when they got it. So, Of course my family has Cancer, but there is no way to know if you will get it or when. Kind of funny, I had no reason to think that I would ever be in this situation at this age. Surprise!

Are you scared?
I think I have talked about this a little bit before. I am mostly scared of pain, shaving my head and learning I have hair follicles that can withstand nuclear blasts, and for my family. I know they worry and am so grateful for their care, but I don;t want to be a burden or a strain on their normal lives. It makes me sad to push dates around and put their dreams on hold while they wait for me to get better. So not today I guess is my final answer.

Questions?

Hi, I get a lot of the same questions. That tells me I have some things to share. Maybe I have and they were missed, or maybe I thought I did and it was really just a dream. I pick the latter of the two.

What is the treatment schedule?
I will get 4 doses of chemo, one every other week. I start Nov 20 and end Jan 2.
Then, if things go well, lumpectomy. A surgery that will remove the tumor.
Followed by 6 weeks, 33 sessions 5 days a week, of radiation. Sessions are about 7 min each and I can walk my dog, the nurses have a greed to watch her while I am in getting my rays on. Its the new tanning!
If chemo does not shrink the tumor and eliminate it's two ugly step sisters, I might have more chemo, but it will most likely result in a mastectomy. No radiation is needed for a mastectomy.
Lymph nodes will be checked when I have surgery. Since the chemo will hit them too, if cancer is there, the need to go in and check seems redundant.
Then, hormone replacement for 5 years. Just a regular ol pill popper.

How did you find it?
I found it while participating in topless tooth brushing. I hate toothpaste on my clothes, even pj's. So I wake up, hit the head, (Sailor talk to use the restroom), hop on the scale, and brush my teeth on the way to the shower. (Aren't you all so happy you know exactly how I wake up now?) So while brushing away, I saw what appeared to be a bruise. I think, wow, I should have noticed that in such a sensitive area. I feel it. Well, it's a knot. Man, I really knocked that. hmmm... no incidents come to mind. It feels like a knot in my back from tension or something. I have no idea breast anatomy education at all, so I go on with my day. It doesn't take me long to realize there is no bruise and that what I thought was a bruise was really a shadow from the lump. I do checks every month and was floored that I have something so big in my breast with no notice. Last month nothing, this month clearly some thing large has crawled up in there and hatched or something.
I let it go 3 months. Gasp! It's ok, I am a pretty lumpy gal and have had more than a few scares before. Doc and I agreed to wait this long and if nothing changes with the lump, I go in. This time she didn't say cyst. Then she made me go a week with no under wire! OMG!!! I think that might have been the worst part. I sent and bought a ton of the cutest sports bras in the world and sported a tube boob for what felt like and eternity, it was really only a week.
Then I went for a mammogram and sonogram. It is important to do both. My mammogram only showed density, no tumor, no cancer, very little calcium-and indicator, and not much else. The sonogram however, showed my little rice size tumor. Of course the tech and sup doc both sat there and said, what is that, I don;t know, have you ever seen that before, no- but get a picture, save it and measure it. OMG!!! Hello! I am in the room!!!! Then the doc pats my leg and says son;t lose any sleep over it. I say no worries, I won't. I had already decided whatever it was has been there for a while and I was ok last week. If it's cancer, my worries and fears will feed it. I had to stay positive and knew it would make a difference if all my fears were put in someones hands. Then the doctor said Oh you will, you will. The blood in my body went somewhere else and his comment chilled my bones. What a jerk! It rocked me, but a little retail therapy and a lot of verses later, I was back.
Then I met my favorite doctor of all time! My surgeon. He talked to me about the findings and made no promises that it was or wasn't cancer. He did give me my stats and said he would rush the pathology report and leave the littlest scar possible to do the biopsy. He was kind and honest with me about everything. So, he did the biopsy. He numbed me up, turned me on my side to avoid puncturing my lung, thanks doc, and pierced my left girl 2 times. On the third I felt pain. Pain like no other! My whole chest was on fire but not hot. I started crying. First the pain, then the fact that it didn't numb up, I knew those cells were different. He offered to stop, I said no way, get a good sample. I will never let someone do this again, so get it all now. So he finishes the 5 passes, 4 was no pain, but 5 hit it again. My mind is sure of it, I came home and started this blog, read my Bible and started cleaning for company. I didn't want to buy books or anything because I didn't want to jinx myself. On the 23rd Dr D looked me in the eye and said it's cancer. I said ok, what do we do first. He said You kind of knew didn't you. I say, It didn't numb up. He said that kind of tipped him off as well.
So I've eaten ice cream every night since.

You might not loose your hair, why did you dye it, cut it, and buy a wig?
I will lose my hair. I know many of you have a friend or family member that didn't. Different cancers need different drugs and those different drugs have different side effects. The drugs that I will be taking will make my hair fall out. I plan on staying in my favorite place, in complete control, and will shave my head. Maybe even before chemo, for the ultimate control. Now that I have my wig, I might just shave it today.

Is there anything I can do?
Yes! Pray for me, with me or without me by your side. Support my friends and family. They are doing so much and need all the help they can get. I am not a good patient. I try, but I just can't stay still. I think I did a little too much walking this morning, so I now I am writing the worlds longest blog. hmmm.... Ok, also, I can't donate blood, so someone needs to do that, fill my spot kind of, and maybe volunteer at my fav places; YMCA, Family Services, and SRL- Chamber of Commerce.

Are you excited to take time off?
No. Sorry, I know many of you would love for me to sit home and eat bon bons while I get chemo, however, work is very important to me. I don't want any child to think that you have to stop living when you get sick, it keep my mind alive and busy, and most importantly how depressing would it be to stay home all winter! So, the Y, being the great place that it is, has agreed to make my office a germ free zone. It pretty much is right now, I work in the house next door to the main building and very few children are ever there. Just about 6 staff work over there and as long as my blood counts are good I will be there. I will be taking days off here and there right after chemo and on days I don't feel good. But I have chemo every other week and hope to only miss a few days.

I want to answer these too, but will have to come back, body says relax and take a nap, so that's what I am going to do. :)

What kind of cancer is it?
Does it run in your family?
Are you scared?

Surgery & New Phone

Hi, I am recovering from surgery this afternoon. It went well, but I am starting to feel the pain. They went in to my neck and followed a good vein down to the right side of my chest where they put something where they never have to pock my arm to get or give blood, meds, etc, etc again! YEAH!!!!! The pain is starting to kick in. It feels like I pulled every muscle in my neck and chest. I am starting to bruise and am trying to remember what they said about everything, but can't seem to right now. I do remember that I have a note to get out of PE for 8 days! YES! I also can not work for two days. Why don't they tell me that before I am there. I have been looking forward to a full day of work all week. Maybe I will just work from home on Friday. I'm over the no work thing. And another note to get me out of Jury duty for one year. I had a summons for Jury duty last week and it fell on one of my test days so I had to get a doctors note. So I asked my surgeon, he is the doctor I see the most right now, for a note. I thought for the day or something. I was a little surprised when he put it for a full year. I've never been selected for Jury duty, but I get summons a lot.

Ok, new phone, the Blackberry Bold! Yeah me! I will be able to use my e-mail, post blogs, and do my other Internet stuff. But even better, I will be able to watch movies and play games, with surround sound, while I am at all of my appointments. I just wish I knew how to use it! Ha~ I have a consultation with a techy on Monday. It's funny, Heidi and I have the geekiest phones in the world, and I don't think either one of us has voicemail yet. :)

Kona's Pink Tail

Of course my dog has a pink tail! What color did you think it would be? Have a great day,I'm just bored wasting time before my surgery avoiding food and WATER, OMG how do people really have a full day with no water? 17 hours of no food and water, I think I'm going to go take a nap! :)

Chemo in 9 days

The date has changed a million times and now I think we have the final date! Nov 20th I will get my first dose. I am happy with my schedule and with all of the new info I feel like it is the best fit for my life. And it gives me a few more days to get things wrapped up. Kona went to the vet today, I go to the dentist this week, port surgery tomorrow, wig shopping ASAP!, and Kenzie's 9th birthday will be great! Last week I felt like I was on a submarine with the alarm blaring and a woman's voice over the loud speaking counting down. Now I feel like there is time to finish what I want and to most importantly spend time with my friends and family with a little more relaxation instead of my anxious rushed energy. The spare room is set up and ready for guests, my room is nearly there and the rest of house and finally normal. The paint is still drying in my bathroom and then I will hang some shelves to get more room out of my space.

Shout Outs!
Taurie for putting together my encouragement book! I read it a lot, and showed it to the nieces when they were worried about my feelings.
Julie for the best short hair cut and experience a a girl could ask for! Guys, who usually prefer long hair, are saying I should wear my hair short all the time~ and they said that without knowing I was sick! Even better!
Melissa for the introduction to Julie and the Champagne chop shop!
Katy for the purple hair~ People love it!
Deene for topless picture in pixley
Dad for EVERYTHING!
Surgeon for working a million hours a week!
My YMCA family for helping with everything and making me feel normal and laughing with me!
Sister for crying and laughing with me, at the same time!
LeeAnn H. for the knitting stuff the the upcoming lessons.
Debbie & Catherine for the blanket!
Leeann E. for the Cancer Vixen kit, my new fav lip stuff!
Boys that still like me with almost no hair and possible a chunky boob, I love boys!!!!
Caiti & Kenzie for being bored with it and bringing perspective to my life.
Fernando & Julie for driving 6 hours with their dog, getting a hotel room, etc, etc, to clean out my junk room and primering my bathroom.
Heidi for being so strong with an upside down house and more conversation about medical crap than boys, texting, clothes, and makeup combined.
Suzana for caring soooooo much!
Megan for the caps and scarp books to be! :)
Tina everyone should have a wig sponsor!
Bobbie & Jamie for being so loving and kind! Dinner was so fun!
Everyone else! Sorry if I missed anyone, I love all of the people that been so supportive! There I go again, the drunk guy at the party that loves all you guys!

Just some updates

Hi everyone! First thank you for reading, so many people have made comments about the blog and thank you for reading it. It is a great way for me to fill everyone in at the same time and a place for me to express my thoughts for my emotional well being.

Second, I hope to start chemo on Friday, but there might be a set back with the a-ok from insurance co. I had hoped to start this week so that Thanksgiving and Christmas would both fall on the last day before the next treatment, when I am at my peak! If not, I will start the following week. I will be almost half way between treatments for both Holidays. That's ok, not ideal but workable. The positive is that I will use less vacation days, I think, or some how, end up better with that. I can't remember right now.

Coming Soon.....
Shout outs!~ Thank yous to the people that touched my heart the most! and
Q&A~ I have been asked a lot of questions, and some are repeating, so you might be wondering some of those things yourself. I will post some of them in the next few days!
And finally, a little game of Name That Tumor! Not really sure if I should get so attached as to name them, they won't be around much longer, little brats! But they do have personality, so why not? Send in name suggestions for them. Phofe2774@yahoo.com There is one large one, Big Bertha was my first though but G-pa already named the radiation machine that, so that's out. And there are two little ones, twin names maybe- I'm thinking something that starts with the same letter, rhymes or a theme.

Have a good afternoon! I'm taking a nap, waiting rooms make me tired!

Love Janice

what a day

Wow, so much got done! Fernando and Julie came from sac to help get the spare room ready for guests and to visit. Dinner was so fun! Ruben came in and it was nice to visit with him too.

Hair cut went great! We drank mimosas, cried, took pictures, and had a great time! I love my hair right now and think I will get a wig a lot like it. I am so thankful for Melissa for setting it up! Julie was the best!

My bathroom is finally painted. I have had it taped off and mostly ready for a really long time and Fernando primed it tonight and then when I got home from dinner, I painted. It felt good to finish something. Tomorrow I need to take the nieces to build a bear and finish the rest of the back room.

Goodnight! Love J

Test results are in!

Great news first! Genetic testing came back negative! I do not have the breast cancer gene! Yeah to my DNA! Also, the preliminary results were confirmed. My hip does have a bone cyst, however it is not cancer. My chest MRI showed that the cancer is only in my left breast, however, there are two additional places that appear to be cancerous. So 3 spots in one breast. Surgeon says he wants to save the breast and will do everything he can to make that happen. I'm just so happy it is only in one breast! He approved my request to get port on Wednesday and start chemo on Friday. Thank you so much for all of your prayers and well wishes! These past two weeks have been intense and now they are finally over. I am going to spend tomorrow getting ready for chemo by cutting my hair, organizing my room, creating a place for guests to sleep, and going to a bridal shower. Have a great weekend! I will ;) Love J

Preliminary News

I met the Radiation Oncologist today. He is the doctor that will oversee my radiation treatments. He had my CT scan in his computer so I got a VERY good look at my guts! He had a few other scans in the computer too, but the one that I was happiest to see was the bone scan. My hip looks good!!!!!! YEAH!!!!! It is still a cyst, but it does not appear to be cancerous!!!!! I am on cloud nine right now!!!!!! I haven't worn a smile like this in a while and I want to say thank you for all of your prayers, I might still have cancer, but it seams to be just in the one breast. The big test hasn't come back yet, but I know it should be in this afternoon or Monday. The gene test BRCA 1 and BRCA 2. Read up on it, way cool. That one will decide if I need double new boobies, or just part of one boobie! The only sad news I got today was that I can no longer go to tanning beds :( and radiation tends to shrink the breast. So, what I hear is that I need to go to meditation instead of tanning and I need to get the left one a little bigger so when it shrinks they are consistent!
peace, love, my hair's not full of grease! J

Thesis- check, Cancer testing- check

I finished two major things today!

First of all I finished all of my cancer testing. I had my chest MRI today. Wow, that is something. I have no words that can explain it. But I always pretend that I am in a tanning bed and fall asleep during those tests.

The second thing I did today is I submitted my thesis! Yep, I finished it! 92 pages on YMCA Volunteerism, funny, I've never gone to the training. :) I had called my professor last week when I thought it would be impossible to finish and she told me I had done enough to get by, but I just couldn't not finish it. I'm sure it's not an A, and that makes me sad because I think I would have gotten a 4.0 this semester. I have A's in all my other classes and am so close I can taste it, but the stress this time wasn't worth it.

So, I meet with the radiation oncologist tomorrow and get an overview on that. I am learning so much! On Monday I will meet with my main doctor at this time and he will give me all of my test results. I think I will be very anxious on Sunday and Monday, so just heads up for anyone hanging around me! You've been warned. :)

I am starting to feel normal again, I forgot a few times that I have cancer. I loved it, then I remembered. I think things are starting to calm down though and I feel better that people know and I don't feel like I am keeping the worlds biggest secret anymore. I have gained so much comfort in the acceptance and support from all of my family and friends. I love it and am so grateful for all of it!

So I am going to go to bed and get some good rest!

Funny Breast Cancer Shirts

http://shop.cafepress.com/breast-cancer
This site made me laugh! So of course I needed to share!

I had a great day! I even worked on my thesis a little, but it is no where near done. I really hope it goes well. I'll post more later, but right now I want to say a big THANK YOU!!!! to everyone! So many people have helped so much this week.

Nuclear Radioactive Urine? oh and Target!

I got a bone scan today, wow! I must say that the science stuff is really intriguing. They gave me an injection, and 3 hours later, my bones were scanned. I pretend I am in a tanning bed, it was 20 min in a tight little space, everything but the rays and the i-pod. Well and I didn't wear those little eye glasses or any tanning lotion stuff, and I had all of my clothes on, and there were like 5 people in the room with me, but I pretended I was tanning and loved it. Ok, ramble. Anyway, the best part, was that the injection was nuclear medication and I was radioactive. The technician said my urine would be radioactive. I've never had so many people want to follow me to the bathroom ever! And no it didn't glow, but I didn't bring in the black light either. :)

I am officially registered at Target. Some blankets, pj's and a few hats, and maybe some other stuff. I forget now, just some things that I need and want and people seem to really want to do things for me and give me things. And that took me a while to accept. Not usually a give me stuff type person, in fact my wish list is only 1 page. :) Anyway, happy shopping!

Also, I met with my insurance rep today to get a better understanding of what they cover and how to do this stuff. I do not get insurance, and think they make up languages when they want, but the guy was great and made it clear. My dad came too. He gets it and has been really concerned about the $$$$$ part. I kind of thought I would have such a large bill that I would never be able to get out from under it, however, it seems pretty easy and I can have the amount taken from my check, pre taxes, and that will pay my bills directly. I am pretty happy about that. ANd he assigned me a high risk nurse. I love that! His mom is a survivor as well so he gave me her name and number and I am excited to call her.

I sitll need to post my pathology report. Sorry, I just haven't had time yet, but I want to get it on here befoer it becomes old news. Tomorrow I will meet with radiation and understnd that and then get to learn about the social wokrer and the cancer library. Kind of happy to get that info.
K, Goodnight! Love Janice

Uncle!

Ok, so lots of people want to do something, get me something, etc. I will put up a list of things I'd like and the link to the helping hands site where people can sign up to help with stuff. It's kind of weird to give people a list of things I want and a list of my chorse. But you people insist on getting me stuff and seem to really want to do my laundry, so I will do it, but right now I need to go to sleep, so I will do it tomorrow. Thank you and I love you guys! I feel like the person who drank too much at the party, always saying I love you guys! But really I do! Hugs! Janice

Oncologist appointment

I learned a lot about my cancer today but I am way too tired to type it all in right now. Basically plan A is 8 weeks aggressive chemo, surgery- lumpectomy, then radiation. Plan B is surgery, chemo, then radiation. Plan A would start right after all the results are in and if the cancer is only in the breast. Plan B will start ASAP as well, and is the plan if the cancer is more than the one tumor they know about. I really really really want plan A. When I told my doctor that he laughed and said I had a great attitude.

I really like the oncologist, he really explained everything to me detail and I felt very comfortable with him. He told me why he has made every decision and I really feel like I have a little control over what we do.

Ok, I'm off to bed, I am very tired and hope things are not this busy when I start chemo.

Spreading the sad news

I think I am getting better at being able to tell people. It's not easy, I feel like I'm going around breaking every one's heart. No one wants to hear this news, and I think delivering bad news with grace and dignity is a skill. One that I hope I am getting better at. Unfortunately some people got a really bad delivery. Sorry :(

After the delivery is the response. Some people know and haven't said anything, and that's ok. Some people might not know what to say and so they just don't say anything. It is natural to pull away and I want all of my friends and family to know that I understand. It is uncomfortable and difficult. On the other side of the same coin is the awkward responses. I think I have heard it all, and then the next person comes along and says something I never dreamed of. I've heard 'Oh what a shame, you have such nice tits' to 'Well I hope you feel better', 'wow you must be scared shitless', ' how are you standing' and even 'Congratulations'. I know people are grasping for words, and are trying to say just the perfect thing. I am not paying attention to the details as much as I am the overall feelings and message the person is trying to deliver. I am prepared for the unpredictable responses if that makes any sense. And if you don't know what to say and want me to know your thinking of me, send a text, e-mail, comment on here, a card to the Y etc,. I might not get back to them all this week, but I am trying and all of them make me smile and are really helping me get through this! My favorite things to hear are people success stories, a nice I'm thinking of you, Be positive, I love you, Kick it's ass!, Hi, and my all time favorite Want to go get ice cream?

Have a great afternoon! I'm going to meet the oncologist later :)

It's Picture Day

Think Pink was set up to help women, and men, document their journey through breast cancer with pictures. I am getting my pictures taken today! I am pretty excited! They will be outdoors, so I am really really excited about that! I just don't want to get caught, could you imagine trying to explain this! And for exposing yourself you might have to register as a sex offender, OMG! So, wish me luck and if you see some girl running around without a shirt on, don't rat her out! It just might be me!! Say Cheese!
Hugs! J

Fear

A lot of people are asking how I am or saying I know you are scared… or asking about my emotions, I sent a version of this to a friend and thought it would be good to post something on my emotional or mental state.

I’m not sure what I am right now, upside down for sure! I was really scared before I knew what it was, but now that I have it, I’m ok, there are a lot of neat things, California law won't let this disease leave me disfigured. I don't want kids, so my eggs can get chemo and I’m ok with that, I am kind of sad about my teeth possibly getting messed up, but I’m sure that could get fixed. I need my body for 60 more years so I don't want it to get too messed up from treatment, but I guess I am more upset about not being normal or able to live my life, instead I have to spend time and money on just being able to live, that sucks! Worst case is death. I’m not afraid to die, I am sad for my family and friends, but really, I don't think I have ever been afraid of death. Don’t get me wrong, I do not want to die; I want to live a long happy life full of family and friends, doing things that make me happy, leaving a legacy and kicking ass along the way.

I have insurance, but will have to pay a shit load for this. I would have liked to spent this next year finishing schools and looking for a new job making more money. I guess the scariest thing is insurance and ever being able to get it again. I can never let my insurance lapse or get coverage outside of a group plan. I really hate that and since I am only 34 that really really really sounds like a pain in the ass!

Maybe I am just too ignorant to be scared right now. I kind of think I am still accepting it. I have cried a lot lately, but my original fears have been pretty much answered.

What I do know is that this will bring positive results in the end somehow! I’m not sure, maybe I need to learn few lessons, build some character, build empathy, learn how to ask for help (I am afraid of being dependent on others!)

Talked to the Doctor Today! :)

Hi, I hope everyone had a good and safe Halloween!

I talked with my doctor this morning, he has some preliminary reports from my CT's. The chest and lung area looks good and so does the brain! Yeah me! He is a little concerned about the hip, but we knew that would be an area. -My hip was in a lot of pain last year and they determined it was a bone cyst. The doctors thought it was best to leave it alone since it would be very invasive to get to the area and to do anything about it. After about 3 months of physical therapy, I was ok, still get some pain, but not like before. Now they are a little more concerned about it and are more interested in finding out exactly what it is doing.

So I still have a bone scan and some MRIs next week that will give me more information.

peace J

Happy Halloween Eve

My doctor called tonight and left a voicemail. He called at 8:00 pm, wow this man works all the time! I love that since he is my doctor, but I really hope he takes time off too! He got some quick results from my CT's yesterday. He said "mostly good news." I will call him tomorrow and find out what that means exactly.

On another note, I am getting professional pretreatment pics this weekend. I am excited!

Also, my hair is purple in the back, kind of pink on one side! It will be really fun for Halloween! I'm not that into thin year, everything seems different, but I do have a really cool costume. I'll post some pictures soon.

And, my final note for tonight is that I just finished my last regular cohort class! I still have to finish my Thesis. I don't know when I will have time, but it's due Thursday with a presentation. I hope I can keep it together for just another week. I am not sure if I will be taking a leave from school or if I will take one online class at a time to stay enrolled. I need to ask how long I have to finish my last few classes. I did call my insurance today to set up a meeting to go over my out of pocket costs and try to get a better understanding of how this stuff works. My dad is so going to that one!

Love and hugs! J

BRAC 1 and 2 Tests

Hi, Today was a really good day. I think I have made some decisions. (I'm still a chick, so I have the right to change those whenever I want, for whatever reason, and however I want).

1. This week will kick off crazy hair month! Be on the lookout for some crazy fun hair colors! I am going to sport whatever I can and still keep my job!

2. I will not be freezing any eggs. Mother Nature and God have been telling me for many years I probably should not have children, now they are yelling it in a blowhorn an inch away from my face. There is always adoption, and we all know my kid would just like Makenzie, my mini me and act like Caitlin my hero! So, no need to make a frozen omlet.

3. I forgot what the 3rd one was. I am sure I will remember later, sorry, that has been happening a lot lately. My mind is like oatmeal!

Ok, so I am off to finish my last 2 papers for school and then maybe a run.
much much love

Dr Visit

I met with Dr. Downies, my surgeon tonight. He went over the pathology report, and I forgot most of it, sorry, I will get a copy soon and put up actuals. But basically they have 5 tests, 3 came back favorably, 1 unfavorably, and one undecided. So not bad! And the blood test came back with some good news too. 1st, I'm not prego- good for me, sad there is no baby Jesus coming anytime soon, from me anyway, :) 2nd, it appears to not be in my liver, and 3rd, it appears to not be in my bones. So, great news! I still have a lot more tests, I'm looking for a calendar to put up, so you guys will know when to expect new blogs, reports, etc. Right now, he thinks treatment might start in 3 to 4 weeks. At this point he is suggesting radiation, chemo and surgery. I can't remember in what order, but all three, little sucky, but not bad.

Also, I want to say thank you t o all of you! I really love all of the support, warm wishes, love, and prayers everybody is sending my way. I know there are a lot of times where there are no words, and that's ok.

Also, also, I have so many e-mails and calls to return, please know I want to get to all of you, but I am a little behind right now, I am sure things will slow down sometime so, I hope anyway.
Also also also, some people want to know what about school? Well, I'm not really sure. My thesis is due Nov 6th and our last class is Nov 13th. SO, it looks good, I just need to find time to finish my thesis and write one more paper! So close I can taste it. I have a few more classes to do and can do those online and will just take a little longer than I need to.

"I'm sorry, I don't have good news for you today."

I met with my docotr today to get the results of my biopsy. It's cancer. I'm 34 and have breast cancer. Tomorrow is scanning day, x-rays, MRI's and other stuff to get done to see how much there is, where it it, and more.
This site will be updated often with test results, emotions, progress, etc. Please read it and share it with anyone you want. It will be an outlet for me and a place for others to get updates, learn, and be supportive.
Love ya!
Janice

Welcome

I wanted to create something where friends and family could get updates & information, send messages, and know what is going on! I will add some posts sharing thoughts and experiences up to this point.
love ya