Bonus Days!

The week of waiting for my PET scan results was a long one, but I will write about that later. I really want to share some of the tricks and tips I have learned to help keep the pain of waiting to a minimum. And based on some of my posts that week, I have a long way to go before I perfect the wait, but I have gotten much better! Anyway, about a week after the results came in, btw they were amazing!, I celebrated my 10th year of being 29!! I spent the day getting my hair done, running errands, and had a large family dinner. I enjoyed every minute of the day! I know I mention it all the time, but I just can't get over what Stanford said and how I only had a 1% chance of making it this long. I officially reached my bonus days and they are so wonderful and I've been walking on the clouds ever since.  I'm so thankful for all of my family and friends that helped me through the PET scan week and made my 39th birthday the best I've ever had! The 29 the thing was just being silly, I couldn't be more proud of my age and everything that comes with it, except the metabolism, what the hell is that about?!?!

PET Scan Results

Waiting for results is always the hardest part of having cancer. It's almost impossible to not think about what the results will lead to. Will I have to go back on chemo? Will there even be hope for chemo? Where are the cells? Was my last PET scan a false positive and we took time off of chemo based on it? I know all these things sound so terrible and people will say I have to think positive, but I think it's just as important to be realistic. People with my cell rarely last as long as I have. When will my run of good luck and miracles run out? If I go in there with realistic views then I can actually walk out. When I go in with the "positive" attitude that I will be fine, it's harder to walk out, I've already done it that way and the fall all the way down is much more difficult than goining in there with a realistic outlook. So while I stay positive and hope for the best, I prepare as much as I can for bad news. Thursday, the day before I got my results was the hardest day. People kept texting to see if I had gotten my results. When I looked at our texts, I can see the text telling them it would be Friday, why are they texting and adding to my tourture? I'm definitely going back to lying about my appointment schedule after that. It's funny, the same people that say to just tell the truth about my result appintment are the same people that can't stop texting and reminding me about it. I'm just not strong enough to deal with it. On Thursday I couldn't imagine how I would be strong enough to willingly walk myself into that appointment. I had looked up verses, tried to keep my mind off of it, everything I could do to keep my sanity. I'm not sure how but when I woke up on Friday, I was in the best mood! I was prepared for anything, smiling, and could actually discuss it without crying! All of my prayers came true and I walked in the cancer center smiling and easily chatting with people. Dr. Hsu came in the room without making me wait and sat down to read my results. The first thing he said was that they weren't in yet. Ugh!! I knew I wouldn't survive another week of waiting. He looked again and pulled up an image that was mostly black and had some gray outlined organs! Perfect!! I said "that looks great!!" Dr. Hsu chuckled and started reading through the report. Father a few minutes he said it was great! There weren't many changes from e last report. I immediately started crying and my dad and Tony were smiling from ear to ear. We quickly discussed our game plan, keeping treatment the same and waiting for signs of changes, either high tumor markers- that we will continue to check monthly, or new pains and changes in organ function. So I'm happy that my miracle and run of good luck hasn't stopped!