The Best Treatment Ever!

This is the end of treatment 3 and I feel really good! I mean really good!!!! Almost completely normal, he he he. I have the occasional pain or side effect, but not very much. Christmas was the best day!. Of course no day is complete without a nap and planning. I have my medication schedule down, my energy level isn't as surprising, and knowing when to eat and what to eat has been really helpful. I am so grateful to feel so good. Last treatment was the hardest and there were a lot of days that I felt so bad this one has made up for it. And it couldn't have been timed better with the holidays and people in town, dinners, get together, etc etc. I think having so many events is helpful too. There was a cycle of not feeling up to anything and then not feeling good because I wasn't doing much, nothing ever really took my mind off of it. So, with that I am off, friends are coming over for a movie night and I am ready with my milk duds, popcorn, and red hots! yum!!

Merry Christmas!

I had a great Christmas! I spent the day with family and friends and could not have felt better. I ate a ton of great food and even got to nap in the middle. Tomorrow I have one a few more events to wrap up the season. It was really nice to spend the day relaxing and laughing. So much laughing!
Love you! Janice

Dr visit and batch 3 down the hatch!

I saw the doctor today and got an update on my treatment schedule. So, one more chemo treatment to go!!!!!! YEAH!!! That will be Jan 2nd. He says two to three weeks of getting my strength back, then surgery. 2 weeks to recuperate and then 8 more weeks of chemo, yum, then 33 straight sessions of radiation, M-F of course. So, that's the news. Chemo during soccer season. Sucks! I love soccer season!!!!! It really is one of the top 85 things I love about my job! I could even narrow it to the top 15 things I love about my job. I don't want to be on chemo for soccer! I feel like a two year old stomping my foot and pouting. But on the bright side, I will be nearly cancer free, if not completely cancer free by soccer! Yeah, still I don't want to be on chemo for soccer!!!!!! Me on chemo for soccer means I have to pay others to do what I would normally be doing, so budget sucks, I love walking around and personally talking to every coach every game. I think it adds so much to the program and one of the reasons I think there was such a high retention of last years coaches. Also, I think that Saturday morning is the definition of healthy families, outdoors, family oriented activity, physical activity, building self esteem in kids etc etc etc. I am worried I will not be my usually happy, running around self during the season. So, I'm a little disappointed. Also in March is my sisters wedding, me in a dress, bald and half a boob down.

OMG!!!

J.Crew has a dog line!!!!!!!! Ohhh Kona Bean is going to get some cool stuff!!!! crewmutts! How great is that and how long have they had it and I have not known? I am a regular J Crew shopper. J. Crew day is the day my order is scheduled to arrive and I talk about it like I am going to Hawaii. Anyway, I found the crewmutts stuff buried deep in the men accessories section ? Guys are the only people that shop for dog stuff? whatever! Ok, I am really going to go get ready for work now. :) Have a great day, I will be dreaming of cashmere dog sweaters, mmmmm yummy!

Half Baked

I am half way there! Looking back, it's not so bad. I could do that again, a few times. The second batch was worse than the first, but still not as bad as I thought. I think that falling down, damn stormtroopers, weakened my fighting attitude a little. My foot still looks like it belongs on a peacocks ass, but it is feeling a little better everyday. I really was afraid it was broken, on chemo nothing heals fast anyway, but I just knew the bones would never heal right and I would have a club foot the rest of my life. I pictured a pirate- peg leg, bandanna, and an eye patch, only my eye patch would go where my boob used to be. Great, Halloween forever. Thank God that it wasn't broken, but I think it wore me down. It took a lot longer for the symptoms to hit but when they did they stayed a little longer and hit a little harder. The first round I took 5 pills total for nausea, this round I took like 15 pills, two rolls of tums, and a lot more vicodin, stupid peacock foot. I have talked to a few people that are really close to my age that recently did chemo and they were saying every round is different, so I have high hopes for the next one. I also wonder about our powerful minds. I read about symptoms before starting and know that some of these things can get in your mind and aren't even happening. I read about a study where 33% of the men on the placebo lost their hair. Wow! Could you imagine! When I first read it I could hear Napoleon Dynamite yelling "Idiots!" But now, I wonder how many of my own symptoms were in my head. I think I had almost everyone of them. I refuse to list them all, they need no more attention and it sounds way to whiny. I think the worst was just being sad. The past two days were really tough mostly emotionally. One minute I was great the next I was near tears. Work was really helpful in keeping me busy but the stairs to my office were hard on my foot. I am going to try to use the stairs three times today, think I can do it? Once to go into my office, after the management meeting and before a staff meeting. The next time for sure to go home and one in the middle somewhere. I'll let you know how I do. Have a great day, I'm off to wash my bald head.
Love you guys! Janice

Just like Darth Vader

The other day after I fell down I went right back to bed where I really hoped I could not fall down or hurt myself anymore. It's no secret that I am balding and it is safe to assume that I am pretty pale. Much like Darth Vader. So I have been thinking about him a lot lately, just knowing that the next time I look in the mirror, I will see him, sans mask and breathing apparatus, staring back at me. Well I saw him looking back, but not the way I thought it would happen. I was lying in bed, leg propped up on a billion pillows with ice pack, my tray in place over my lap, where I am propped up on another billion pillows to use ergonomically, when I catch a glimpse of myself in my closet door mirror. Mind you my bed is all burgundy and brown, my lap top is pink, as are most of the things I am wearing including my knitting that is sticking out of the side of my tray. I see my little pale bald head and there he is. This is how Darth Vader rules the death star I know it! Only instead of the death star it the YMCA sports and recreation department and instead of a cool black paneled display with screens showing the galaxy and beyond, it's a dell inspiron and blackberry. But really I know that the Darth Vader we know and love is a facade. He does really use a pink lap top while icing his various body parts that are still real enough to swell when injured from light saber battles. And I didn't fall, a storm trooper tripped me!

X-Rays are good!

So in my weaken state I fell down the other day. My foot popped a million times, grew too big to put in any shoe and turned purple. Everything hurt, even sleeping. So off to the doctor I went. I didn't even know what doctor to go to. I called the oncologist but went to my regular doc. Of course they wanted x-rays and they are good. I still don;t know about driving on it, I can not put any pressure on it and am worried that if I was driving, I wouldn't be able to break. So, I am officially on the couch. Funny, I can do more on chemo, ok clearly not walk, but life is pretty normal with chemo comparatively.
I am practicing my knitting, I think it's not too bad. I am using fuzzy yarn though, so you can't see all the "button holes" in the scarf. Maybe it will be a Christmas gift for a lucky someone! He he he
Have a good night! Love Jan

Falling down and getting up

I had a great Reiki session today! A little sound therapy and I feel so relaxed and well. Before the session I fell and messed up my ankle really bad. It was so bad I couldn't drive and could barely walk. The first 5 min of therapy were spent on my ankle and it felt better right away. But the real test was when I got up and could had no pain at all! I bought a topical lotion and hope it will keep it feeling like that for a while. I called into work and will be working from home tomorrow to avoid the stairs to my office one more day. I still can not believe that I fell down so fast. I was standing up one min, and the next on the ground flat.
Overall this treatment was better than the first. I was really tired last night and today and pretty much sleep until I wake up hungry, eat and go back to sleep, with the exception of the fall down interruption to my routine, I think it works well as a way to get over though the yucky stuff.
I'm off to eat or sleep, I forget which one I did last!
Love Janice

Second time around much easier than the first

I have been having a great weekend. I could use more sleep and might pay for that later, but I was able to visit with friends last night and go to a wedding tonight. I wish I would have had the energy to stay longer, it looks like it was off to be a really great wedding! I had so much fun and got to see so many great people! Congrats to Steph and Eric, it was a really great wedding!

I have been eating a ton! Nachos and pancakes still rave at the number crave slot, but I see ooey gooey butter bars on the counter that are sounding really great. And broccoli an all time fav has also been a daily staple. I went to the farmers market and got some organic broccoli and it looks so good. The stems are almost as dark as the top! Wow! That is going to taste sooooo gooooood~!

Ok, I am off to get some much needed rest and maybe watch an 80's movie too.
Have a great rest of your weekend!
Love ya! Janice

More Ovaltine Please!

Treatment #2 is in! I was better prepared for this one. I was a little tired going in and I wish I would have slept a lot more this week, but it's not bad at all. I have good news from the doctor, it is shrinking!!!!! YEAH!!! Also, my blood-work is good, I am still low in iron, shocker! but other than that, everything is in the healthy range.
My hair is falling out by the grip loads, I say grip loads, because unless you pull it, you would never know.
ok, I'm tired, off to nap or go to bed for the night, who knows.... he he he
Love you all and to all a good night, ha, (such a nerd) Ok, really, thank you for all of the calls and well wishes, the prayer groups, cards, texts, etc! I need all of them and know they are making a difference!
Love Janice

Hair today gone tomorrow!

So my hair is falling out. My hair was getting too long so it really is good timing. Shaving it was fun and everything, but those little hairs were everywhere for days!
Also, treatment #2 in tomorrow. I plan on working in the morning and taking it easy after treatment. I plan on going to work on Friday too, but I'll play it by ear. Other than a wedding on Saturday, congrats to Eric and Steph, I plan on sleeping and laying around like a professional bum!
I'll let you know how it goes!
Love Jan

really I feel good

Ok, so some people are really shocked I feel so good. I am kind of pleasantly surprised myself. I was prepared to feel much worse, and of course hoping to feel great. A few friends have asked if I really feel good or if I am only saying I feel good to stay positive or to not let them know I really feel bad, to keep others thinking positive. Wow, I never even had those thoughts. I really do feel good. I am starting to not look so great. My skin is pale, I have dark circles under my eyes and my skin is breaking out like crazy. Somehow I still lost 2 lbs this week eating like a kid who broke out of fat camp. It's a strange mix of puberty and pregnancy all at once. I do think the lump is shrinking. I'm not sure if it is finally not traumatized anymore from daily pokes, prods and the ever terrible biopsy. Either way, it is smaller and I am thinking positively. I've also heard that visualization works well. So, I think of all kinds of attacks. One of my favorites is cowboys circling some kind of beastly animal shooting their guns in the air while the beastly cancer shrinks and cries, melting almost like the wicked witch. I finish my visualizations with 'and Janice lived happily ever after'. It's like a fairy tale, cancer is!
Kisses and wishes! Love Jan