click the link to see some amazingly beautiful faces!
Beautiful People!
Friday, September 30, 2011
busy busy me
Today was a very productive day! I have been feeling too dizzy to do much so today when I woke up feeling decently stable I started tackling some of my "to do" items. I called my cobra administration and got some wonderful news! The news was so good that I started crying on the phone. The lady had been short with me the entire phone call so I really didn't want her to hear me cry but when she told me how I could work out all of these details and it was much easier than I ever imagined the relief overwhelmed me. I have been so worried about my insurance I have been dragging myself to work as much as possible. It made me think of the sick day rule of thumb.... If you are too sick to call in to work, then you can't go to the mall. Well, I definitely can't go to the mall without a lot of help and a lot of rest breaks, so why am I trying so hard to go to work. That's all I am going to say about that right now, nothing has officially happened with work, other than I have accepted it is time for me embrace my limitations.
Next stop..... Social Security Office, this was a great time to realize that I can't find my card! So I ordered a new one and confirmed that I had enough working credits for benefits, of course that will take a very very long time to kick in, but they are there when I need them and the line up nicely with the cobra info I got earlier. My fear of ending up seriously ill and without insurance has significantly decreased!
Then of course I stopped by the Y and got to see everyone. I love my coworkers so much! I even made that trip all on my own! Drove there, walked around a little and drove home! I was very proud of myself!
Lastly and certainly not least, I introduced Goodies Cookies to my dad! I think I am a cookie snob and I think I got that from my dad! I treated him to a cookie and bought about 5 for my house! Tony loves them too and he loves the flavors I don't make so it works out really well to have a few on hand.
There was more to my day and I am so excited to share, but you will all have to wait a little while longer, next Friday to be exact! But I feel like the kid on the Disneyland commercial that yells out that he is too excited to sleep!!!!
Next stop..... Social Security Office, this was a great time to realize that I can't find my card! So I ordered a new one and confirmed that I had enough working credits for benefits, of course that will take a very very long time to kick in, but they are there when I need them and the line up nicely with the cobra info I got earlier. My fear of ending up seriously ill and without insurance has significantly decreased!
Then of course I stopped by the Y and got to see everyone. I love my coworkers so much! I even made that trip all on my own! Drove there, walked around a little and drove home! I was very proud of myself!
Lastly and certainly not least, I introduced Goodies Cookies to my dad! I think I am a cookie snob and I think I got that from my dad! I treated him to a cookie and bought about 5 for my house! Tony loves them too and he loves the flavors I don't make so it works out really well to have a few on hand.
There was more to my day and I am so excited to share, but you will all have to wait a little while longer, next Friday to be exact! But I feel like the kid on the Disneyland commercial that yells out that he is too excited to sleep!!!!
Sunday, September 25, 2011
nothing new yet
I'm still a little hesitant to post after my last post showed up on facebook. I feel terrible that some people read this and got such terrible info that way. I really thought I had un-linked the two a while ago. Anyway, I did double and triple check that they are no longer connected. And my apologies to anyone that found out that way! I feel terrible and never wanted that to happen!
So what going on? I really don't know anything new. When I first left the doctor I was in a fog for a while and I just needed time to accept all of this. I am still waiting for Stanford to call with my appointment. In the mean time I have been pretty busy and just kind of organizing everything. I'll be moving in with my dad sometime in the next few months and will work as long as I can. I had a lot of aches and pains that I had attributed to stress, but the stress seems to have faded and the pains have not. So back to the doctor I went. He said he wanted me to take morphine, I said I wanted to work still and asked if I needed more than a year of insurance. My poor dad instantly sucked all of the air out of the room, thankfully the dr replied without hesitation that I would definitely need more than a year of insurance. Then my dad and I cried happy tears and released all of the oxygen back into the atmosphere. We agreed on a much lower pain med that would allow me to work for a little while longer.
I am praying for a miracle, I know they happen all the time and I think I am the perfect candidate! :) I get the feeling that some people think I am giving up. I promise I am not, but I have decided how I would like to spend my energy and it is not flying all over the country and the world to reenact the scene from Man on the Moon with Andy Kaufman. My uncle passed away in 1980 from cancer that at the time was incurable and not treatable. Someone diagnosed with the same cancer today, would probably survive. He spent a lot of time searching for his cure and in the end didn't find it. I am choosing to spend time with my friends and family. God has a plan and I have accepted that while making the most out of my life. I have never sat back and let life happen to me and I am not doing that now. But I will be comfortable and make the most out of this situation. I will seek out treatments that lengthen my life while maintaining the quality of my life. People say "don't give up" a lot and I know they mean to encourage me, and I try to take it that way. It's like the "you've lost so much weight" compliment it just implies that they were fat before. So when I get e-mails and texts saying don't give up, I wonder, who gave up? certainly not me!
I am a religious person and love the prayer, laying of hands, and all of those wonderful things. I got a million hugs at the end of work the other day, and I left feeling better than I had in weeks! I know it's not a fluke. Those are the activities I want to participate in.
So what going on? I really don't know anything new. When I first left the doctor I was in a fog for a while and I just needed time to accept all of this. I am still waiting for Stanford to call with my appointment. In the mean time I have been pretty busy and just kind of organizing everything. I'll be moving in with my dad sometime in the next few months and will work as long as I can. I had a lot of aches and pains that I had attributed to stress, but the stress seems to have faded and the pains have not. So back to the doctor I went. He said he wanted me to take morphine, I said I wanted to work still and asked if I needed more than a year of insurance. My poor dad instantly sucked all of the air out of the room, thankfully the dr replied without hesitation that I would definitely need more than a year of insurance. Then my dad and I cried happy tears and released all of the oxygen back into the atmosphere. We agreed on a much lower pain med that would allow me to work for a little while longer.
I am praying for a miracle, I know they happen all the time and I think I am the perfect candidate! :) I get the feeling that some people think I am giving up. I promise I am not, but I have decided how I would like to spend my energy and it is not flying all over the country and the world to reenact the scene from Man on the Moon with Andy Kaufman. My uncle passed away in 1980 from cancer that at the time was incurable and not treatable. Someone diagnosed with the same cancer today, would probably survive. He spent a lot of time searching for his cure and in the end didn't find it. I am choosing to spend time with my friends and family. God has a plan and I have accepted that while making the most out of my life. I have never sat back and let life happen to me and I am not doing that now. But I will be comfortable and make the most out of this situation. I will seek out treatments that lengthen my life while maintaining the quality of my life. People say "don't give up" a lot and I know they mean to encourage me, and I try to take it that way. It's like the "you've lost so much weight" compliment it just implies that they were fat before. So when I get e-mails and texts saying don't give up, I wonder, who gave up? certainly not me!
I am a religious person and love the prayer, laying of hands, and all of those wonderful things. I got a million hugs at the end of work the other day, and I left feeling better than I had in weeks! I know it's not a fluke. Those are the activities I want to participate in.
Friday, September 16, 2011
i guess it's time to share....
I got a call a few weeks ago that my routine check up revealed high tumor markers. I prayed for the best and tried to go on living a regular life. I would venture to say that I fooled no one! So now I have learned most of the news. I have stage 4 inoperable and incurable breast cancer in my lungs, chest wall, and lymph nodes. The doctor has some treatments that will prolong my life and I am going to Stanford to get more opinions. I will start posting updates to keep people up to date. Thank you to everyone who supported my Avon walk for breast cancer, but I decided it would be best to spend the weekend with my family. (They still got all the $$$ :) and hopefully will prevent this from happening to more people)
A SUPER big THANK YOU to Codie and her family! She was going to walk with me and her family has handled this sudden change of plans with grace and admiration!!! I love you guys!
So, there it is.... that's everything I know right now. I didn't ask for a timeline since Stanford will probably play a big role in that... If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask!
A SUPER big THANK YOU to Codie and her family! She was going to walk with me and her family has handled this sudden change of plans with grace and admiration!!! I love you guys!
So, there it is.... that's everything I know right now. I didn't ask for a timeline since Stanford will probably play a big role in that... If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
