Heartburn with no Heart!

I hate heartburn. It should not have the word heart it in, it should be chestburn, or just some other stupid name. I do not 'heart' it at all!
That's all I got. I hate it, it keeps me awake, there is no relief, I hate it. Food doesn't even sound good, only frozen yogurt and I just don't think I can eat only frozen yogurt, I mean I can try, I did work at TCBY in high school and ate a LOT of it then :) I guess I could go back to my high school food ways, but that doesn't sound like I would feel very good..... hmmm..... I guess I'll go eat more tums and try to go to sleep, good night!

But, I am so looking forward to our wedding dinner! mmmmm our food is going to be soooooo good! We picked a wonderful caterer and delicious food! I have been craving it since we taste tested it and now we are only a little over a week away from eating it for real!!!!

No Chemo Scheduled until April 10th so there is really only one thing to talk about.....

THE WEDDING!!!!!!!!
I had my last chemo on March 20th and was given two weeks off for good behavior! Well, not really, I wish it worked like that! But I was given two weeks off, so that I can feel good for the wedding!!! Last week I spent most of the days recuperating from chemo. I had a low fever and was pretty nauseated. Much more than before, so I ate what sounded good, life cereal, and stayed away from anything that didn't sound good- chores and bills! But this week, I feel much better! I was able to actually to get out of bed and do fun stuff this weekend. SO today I was in full wedding mode and it was a very productive day! I sent in my numbers to the caterer and the venue. Over 90% of our guests responded that they would be attending! I have been pretty stressed about fitting them all in the room and feeding everyone, until today. Today I got a lesson in perspective. I have been dreading calling in the numbers to the venue since we are over our contracted number. When I explained that we had so many yes's, her first comment was Congratulations! I thought, wow, she's right! This is a blessing! I can not wait to be in a room full of people that love us and support us. So, I gave up my table arrangement dreams and said however we can fit them in is fine with me, we will spread out the centerpieces the best we can, the table runners may or may not be on every table and may or may not be the same size as each other, but our guests will be seated and our guests will be fed!I called everyone that needed to know and spread the good news, we are having a big wedding! And we love it!
Then I picked up my finished, pressed, and gorgeous wedding dress!!! Yeah!!!!
Then I finished my thank you notes from my shower- I had to wait until today because the new cherry blossom stamps came out today and they matched my shower.
Then I completed 20 yards of very special wedding garland!
I still have to make table runners, send my photographer some specific shots (Hi Megan!), and make at least another 20 yards of garland (preferably 60) along with another 30 favors, but I have almost 2 weeks to get it all done!

More Chemo! 2 Weeks in a row!

I got another dose of chemo yesterday. I wasn't sure if I was suppssed to or not. I thought my chemo nurse said I was off this week, but I think she said she was off this week. When we arrived, sure enough, she was in Hawaii! I'm can't wait to hear all about her trip!!! Next time I go in will be after the wedding, but I think i will only bring in a pic or two so we can talk about Hawaii. I love Hawaii sooooo much!!!! I wish she could hav taken me or at least let me fly over for some chemo! Wow!

Ok so back to the chemo talk... I like Hawaii talk better! Tonight was one of the hardest nights I've had on it and I still feel so good! I almost lost my dinner but I think that was because I tried to burp when I was bent over. That could happen to anybody really! I think most of that was because I forgot to take my brand new chemo kit that my wonderful friend Codie and her son Jackson dropped of for me. It was full of all of my favorite chemo candies!! Jackson's too! I take a ton of candy with me to cover the taste of the chemo. I can actually taste it from the iv injection. One day I even burped it up all afternoon. I would really like to know how that happens! How do I get so off topic?!? Ok, final thought... I am interested to see how the chemo feels with two weeks of it in a row.

Some other things happening... I got the first draft of my will in the mail yesterday. It was too hard and it made me cry. I just ate thinking about it. I called my sister nd asked her to start making a list of any items that are meaningful to her and the girls. That's super sucky! Then I'm trying to switch over my life insurance policy from the group policy to a policy a pay for myself and it's not going as smoothly as I had hoped. I just want it to be done and for them to cash that check already. I have people that can help me get it resolved but I hope it doesn't need that much energy. Ugh!

Finally.... The wedding is weeks away!!!! Weeks!!! Less than three!!! In fact I won't even get any more chemo until after the wedding! Hows that for excitement! The bridal shower was this past weekend and my one girl bridal team was amazing!!! It was so nice, I still can't believe that it was all for me. I wish I had been feeling better that day but I still had a fabulous time!

Ok, final final thought. Who knew there were so many different types if heartburn? Last time I was on chemo I had heartburn. The kind that feels like some hot ass elephant is sitting on your chest. The same feeling you get after eating too much wonderfully hot salsa. But this time I get heartburn that feels like I scratched my esophagus. I walked around for two days, one of them my shower not able to eat or drink hardly anything because it was so uncomfortable. Then someone at the shower was talking about it being like the heartburn they felt while pregnant. I bought tums that night and felt like a champ minutes later! I guess knowing really is half the battle, thanks GI Joe!

Seriously, this is my last thought before I try and go back to sleep.... How about those thin mints! I am living them beyond right now! They cool my belly and taste so yummy! I got an ice cream maker the other day at my shower (thanks aunt sherry and cuz Andrea) and I can not wait to make thin mint ice cream! I ended up buying about 6 boxes this year! I still might grab a few more for Tony's house too ;)

Thanks for listening to me ramble.... And this was all from my phone so I haven't spell checked it yet, I'll get to that in a few days but right now the oxy and I don't really have too much concern about spelling and grammar. Goodnight :)

Proud of my white blood cells!

My white blood cells are back! So I yesterday I was able to get more chemo. My dad had eye surgery that morning, he is very happy that he no longer needs glasses!, so Tony got to go with me! I loved introducing him to my Dr and all the nurses. He has been to so many other appointments with me it was nice that he got to see how the chemo works. So far I feel good, the Dr recommended some stuff for my lung pain and that seems to be working well and my sleep seems to be off a little but hopefully I can get that back to normal before this weekend!
So today I got a text to check out this story about a bride that reminded them of me! I thought ok, what could this be! And I loved the story! The story talked about a bride to be shaving her head and while I will have hair for my wedding, my own head shaving seemed to a lot like hers! Lot's of hair styles and then finally gone! But it was a happy experience, just as hers seems to have been! And I agree with the stress! There has been very little wedding stress! I'm just so happy to marry Tony that nothing else really matters! My mom's little "Jokes" have been less than funny to say the least but the typical wedding stuff doesn't seem to be stressing me out. http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/46724913#.T2Dv0oePW-Z

No Chemo For You! (In my best soup nazi voice)

I went in today to get my second dose of chemo. I called yesterday and added a quick Dr visit so they could listen to my lung on the left side. Most of my cancer stuff in on the right side so when I had severe, like took oxy around the clock- almost called in for morphine pain, lung pain on the right side I kind of panicked. It started like gas pain, and I refuse to go to the doctor because I have to fart. So, I dealt with it. Three days later, and no serious gas passing, I was still in pain and now had a crinkling feeling when I breathe an it gets worse when I lay down. So other than this lung pain I felt ok this week. I had two nights of low fever and not a lot of appetite but that's ok too. So today I went in to get my next dose and before anything they always check my blood. Katrina, my chemo nurse came back in and broke the news, no chemo for you today! Wow, ok. She explained the levels and you need 1500 minimum to receive chemo, I am at 600. They ordered some white blood cell booster shots, it takes 5 business day for insurance to approve these things so I can';t get them right away. Thankfully I am already on an antibiotic for my toe so I am protected a little from getting sick. But if I do get sick, a fever or anything I have to call right away and they will probably put me on a stronger antibiotic. I will hopefully be well enough to get some more chemo next week :)

And the lung pain. They ordered a chest x-ray to rule out anything crazy, but they think that my lung became inflamed and was rubbing against my chest wall. It's hard for them to know especially since I felt great today and didn't have pain! They have a plan to treat it and now we just wait for it come back, I'm of course voting that it doesn't!!!