I think I am getting better at being able to tell people. It's not easy, I feel like I'm going around breaking every one's heart. No one wants to hear this news, and I think delivering bad news with grace and dignity is a skill. One that I hope I am getting better at. Unfortunately some people got a really bad delivery. Sorry :(
After the delivery is the response. Some people know and haven't said anything, and that's ok. Some people might not know what to say and so they just don't say anything. It is natural to pull away and I want all of my friends and family to know that I understand. It is uncomfortable and difficult. On the other side of the same coin is the awkward responses. I think I have heard it all, and then the next person comes along and says something I never dreamed of. I've heard 'Oh what a shame, you have such nice tits' to 'Well I hope you feel better', 'wow you must be scared shitless', ' how are you standing' and even 'Congratulations'. I know people are grasping for words, and are trying to say just the perfect thing. I am not paying attention to the details as much as I am the overall feelings and message the person is trying to deliver. I am prepared for the unpredictable responses if that makes any sense. And if you don't know what to say and want me to know your thinking of me, send a text, e-mail, comment on here, a card to the Y etc,. I might not get back to them all this week, but I am trying and all of them make me smile and are really helping me get through this! My favorite things to hear are people success stories, a nice I'm thinking of you, Be positive, I love you, Kick it's ass!, Hi, and my all time favorite Want to go get ice cream?
Have a great afternoon! I'm going to meet the oncologist later :)
13 years ago
Hi Janice,
ReplyDeleteI know kinda what your talking about here as I also had breast cancer 24 years ago. I was around your age. I had 3 little boys to think about. It was a shock at first but then I just knew that I had to go into it with a fighting attitude. I had lots of prayer and feel that that helped me through the whole ordeal. I feel that all things happen for a reason and my experience made me a much stronger person. Your already a much stronger person then I was at the point where you are right now. You are so much luckier then I was because of the knowledge that they have now about this disease and most of all you have the love and support of the Y family, which is a whole hell of alot. Take care. Love, Kathie