Lung Update

My lung doctor is still out, completely understandable! However, my lungs don't seem to care and it is getting more difficult to breathe and to get comfortable. So I saw a new doctor, in the same office. I feel like I am cheating on my doctor. And as much as I liked the doctor I saw today, I will go back to my regular doctor as soon as he is ready to come back to work. It was nice to see his staff and get an update on him and his family, I think about them constantly.
Ok, so I am tentatively scheduled to get the fluid around my lungs drained next Wednesday. I look forward to the easy breathing but dread the pain of my lungs expanding. Last time it took about three days. And my toe is still completely infected so I hopefully will be able to go back to the foot dr before I get my lungs drained. I should be good as new in no time! I'm so tired of all the pain and not being able to get comfortable. It really makes me cranky!

Getting new pictures!

New chest x ray today! I'm going to ask to see how much fluid is in there! I hope they will let me see! Sometimes they are really cool about it and sometimes they will only let the doctor me about it.

Thank God for Pleasant Distractions

This has been a pretty difficult week for me. Emotionally and physically. One of my doctors lost his daughter to cancer this week, lymphoma. She was just a little younger than I am. I'm so sad for him and the whole situation is a little too close for comfort. I never had the pleasure of meeting her but we share a mutual friend and she worked at camp. I read some of her blogs and writings last night and felt like I really would have liked her. Her blogs made me laugh out loud and I could really relate to her being a cancer bride, her hospital humor, and her loss of "normal" life that replaced by the life of a full time patient. I wish I could have known her and feel for her friends and family. Her obituary is beautiful and so well written. I am sure her dad, one of my favorite doctors, will need to and should take some time off of work and that makes me sad because I know him and trust him so much that it will be difficult to see someone else while he is out. I can't wait to see him again and I have been thinking about him so much. I hope that doesn't sound selfish, I want him to take that time off, and I'm ok going to someone else in the meantime, but I will miss him and appreciate his care and treatment. I can wait and see him again in a few months :)

Physically, I hurt. My ribs hurt in front and back, on the left and the right sides. I wake up in pain and spend my day avoiding things that will cause more pain. I have pain medications that work well enough to take care of it, but I don't like feeling so out of it. While I am still getting used to the dosage increase I probably don't take them as much as I should, clearly not enough to take care of all of the pain. Today I almost dropped some keys but was able to catch them against my stomach before they fell all the way but just catching them felt like I had punched in the gut. I can't wait to see the new PET scan so I can see whats going on in there.

And then.... My toe freaking hurts! 2 years ago, right after I finished cancer treatment the first time, I got an infection in my big toe nail. They had to take off my entire toe nail and it took forever for it to grow back. I was pretty pissed. I had no hair, one boob or somewhere in between having no or two new boobs- I can't remember- and then they took my toe nail off! UGH! Then this time it is right after they take my ovaries, it is almost like there is some force denying me the right to be girly! Well, I am fighting it with long hair, make up every day, good smells, pink everything and everything else I can battle it with! In the mean time I went to the doctor (loved her! And my auntie works there so it was even better!!) last week, at the first sign of infection, hoping that I caught it in time to save my toe nail. It's not looking so great. I have been trying everything I can to treat the infection but I don't think I can save it. It brings back bad memories from last time and it rules out a ton of pretty open toe sandal options! And the new doc said no more rock star toes! UGH!!! I hate it!!! Maybe this is a lesson in vanity, but really?!?! haven't I had enough? Maybe I should re-evaluate what I learned or didn't learn and re approach this.

Tony and my dad make my days so fun and all of the planning really is such a good distraction! I think I will feel better when I get my the fluid around my lungs drained again. I try to stay focused on the good things and all of the blessings in my life and I don't think I have stopped, but this week has been a little more difficult than most and I'll be glad when I get to spend the weekend with Tony and just enjoy his company! He takes such good care of me he has completely spoiled me, I love it!!! I love him too!

Also, I got a few more notices that I qualified for law school. I love getting those, even though I am not going to go, it makes me feel good.  :)  if anything I will continue my masters, I think I ended up in the program that was best for me!

Doctor Visit

I just got back from my regular oncologist appointment. My tumor markers continue to rise and he was pretty concerned about it. He actually cried and was procrastinating coming in my room to tell me. I love my Dr so much, he is in this with me. We are going to start a shot that blocks estrogen and he ordered new tests, a chest x-ray and a PET scan. I am happy with the plan and am not as surprised as he seemed to be that my tumor markers are still going up. All of this blood work was from before I had my ovaries out. The blood they took today will be more accurate, in my none medically educated opinion, in showing what effect removing the ovaries had.  I think he was so upset because the trend is no longer arguable or a fluke.  To me, this isn't anything new or different from what I thought was going to happen. I will feel better about having a new PET scan and the shots aren't anything either way for me.

What's Happenin' Hot Stuff?

:) I love that Movie!
Well, not much. I feel like I always say that and yet, I am always so busy and my days go by so fast! Wedding stuff is going really well. I get something done everyday and am still having a really good time! I have two doctor appointments next week. One with my lung doctor, it is getting harder to breathe again and I hope they can drain some fluid soon. I get out of breath so easily, just drinking water or walking up and down the hall a few times can leave me gasping for air. The other appointment is my regular 6 week check up with my oncologist. They will take some blood to run my tumor markers and flush out my port. I don't expect anything new from that one. I might need to adjust my pain meds, the does doesn't seem to do as much as it used to but I'm not sure if I am willing to go up or switch to anything stronger right now. I might wait until after my fluid drain to decide that too, I remember last time that the pain decreased once I had recovered anyway- the first three days were more painful! Ugh I am not looking forward to that but hopefully I will be more relaxed this time. That's all for now, I will write next week to update everyone on my doctor appointments.

A break in health stuff.... can only mean one thing!

It's time to talk about weddings! Technically commitment ceremonies! Right after I healed from surgery we jumped right into planning! I am so excited and am having so much fun! So far we have gotten a lot accomplished but it still feels like nothing is done! How does that happen?!?! I found a wonderful place, we have our top three caterers in mind, the invitations are designed and a quality check has been printed, my dress is in my closest (as previously blogged), so is my veil!, the cake has been tasted and decided on, and a few other things have been done too, but we still haven't booked a venue so nothing can really be finalized. It's really fun though and I can not wait! We are so excited to share this day with our family!

Follow up from Surgery

I had my follow up appointment from surgery and it went very well. My dr was even able to tell me why I felt so terrible after surgery. He said it happens very rarely. Basically if you have the surgery when your hormones are at their peak, removing the ovaries basically causes a hormone crash. Your body has about 24 hours worth of hormones so the first day I felt fine, the second day I had crashed. He said the pathology report was clear, so there was no cancer in the ovaries, we didn't expect any but they check everything. So I am released from that doctor. There is nothing else planned at this point. They are watching my tumor markers and watching for new symptoms.