One year mark, back to work, and reconstruction! So exciting!

Tomorrow will be one year since I was diagnosed. It's more than a little bittersweet. I don't want to celebrate or even bring attention to this date, but it was such a huge event and unfortunately my life still has traces of the experience. Everyday I move further and further away from the life as a cancer patient and feel stronger everyday. My hair is getting longer and is super curly! I have been back to work for three weeks and finally don't feel like a foreigner. It took about two weeks to feel like I belonged there. Everything looked familiar and I knew everyone, but nothing was the same. I have been there for so long that it was really weird to come in and not know everything that's going on. But now I am really caught up! I was able to fully participate in management meetings, submit variance reports, and review the 2010 budgets. I know I am a cheese ball, but it feels great! And while completing these tasks I can piece together what has happened since I was gone. It is clear that people pulled together to fill in the gaps and it makes me feel good to see that I wasn't forgotten or looked over as the company continued to grow and move forward. Tomorrow is our annual staff retreat and I am looking forward to spending time with everyone.

As my new life falls into place I no longer find myself wishing for my old life back. I will start the reconstruction surgeries next week on Oct. 30th. The first surgery will be the longest, 5-6 hours. I will have the lat flap surgery on the left side with a skin sparing mastectomy on the right side. They will insert expander implants that will be filled with saline over time to stretch tissue making room for my permanent implants. After that I will have a few more surgeries to tidy everything up, then I will be done! So excited!!

And, I still have the lingering effects of chemo brain! I just walked into the garage and was surprised to find that I had already moved clothes from the washer to the drier. I was genuinely surprised! My mom says this year I can hide my own Easter eggs! Most days aren't this bad, but at the end of the week, it's pretty sad!

Back to work!

I go back to work on Monday and I can not wait!!! My life is returning to normal more and more everyday. I have been cleared to go to the gym and have worked out a few times. I did a heart stress test the other day and it wasn't great, so I have to work at building it back up. They will do another heart stress test in a few months to see how much progress I have made.
Also, today is exactly one year from my first doctors appointment. I wasn't scared at all, too young for cancer and had a million lumps before, I only went to rule it out, ya know just in case. I had found the lump 3 months earlier and it wasn't going away, if anything it was getting bigger and a little more painful. Needless to say, I failed the doctors self exam and she rushed a mammogram and ultra sound. The mammogram was clean, the ultra sound wasn't. Now a year later and a whole lot of life lived and learned, I am ready to pick up where I left off. Back to work, the gym, school, and maybe even the dating world! How exciting, I can not wait to see what happens!!!!

Plastic Surgeon Consultation #1

I met with a surgeon in Fresno today and absolutely loved her! She answered all of my questions, explained everything to me and met all of my expectations! The best news was that I won't have to wait 6 months! Yippee!!!!! I asked her what she was doing tomorrow? I am still reeling from all of the info and have a lot to look up and insurance to deal with. My out of pocket increased Oct 1. I think that is crazy! And I am not convinced that it is correct! So I have that process started, but what a pain.... Anyway, I go to Stanford in October for another consultation, but if I had to decide today, I would pick today's doctor!

Remission, one month follow up and reconstruction, oh my!

Yep folks I am in remission! I love it! No more cancer treatments for me! I get more and more energy back everyday and I am loving it! I get to start working out again next week after a heart stress test. I had some blood tests today that cam back very good!

My one month radiation follow up appointment was today and I get to stop being over gentle with my skin! Bring on the chlorine, perfumey soaps & lotions, shower brushes, and whatever else I want!

Reconstruction still needs to happen, the soonest I can have surgery is 6 months from my end date (august 27th) so I am guessing February. I am going to start interviewing plastic surgeons on Monday and am so excited to see what type of reconstruction would be best for me. I have an appointment at Stanford as well. Currently I am leaning towards Stanford because reconstruction is the only thing this doctor does. The other Dr. does a little of everything. However the other doctor is closer and reconstruction usually includes numerous trips to the doctor, some appointments lasting less than 20 min. Driving all day to Stanford for a 20 min face to face with a doc sounds frustrating to say the least. So my official view on the location of the doctor is that my old breasts lasted 33 years, the next set will get about the same, hopefully more with a little maintenance. So a bunch of trips in the car, all day, is worth having the best set I can get.

Oh and watch for a magazine called Tulare County Magazine coming out mid October published by Visalia Times Delta. They sent a photographer and a writer to talk about Beauty and Cancer. Wigs, prosthetics, etc.... should be fun and I should be in it.

Just a quick update...... healing up and moving on!

My skin is looking great! It is still a little sore sometimes, but is sooooo much better already! I am super excited about being done with all the treatments and getting on with my life. I am very excited about reconstruction and am booking consultations with doctors! I can't wait!! I am so excited!!!

Relay for life was this past weekend! It was so nice to be there and to be done with treatment, to celebrate my life, and winning the cancer fight!!!! There were so many survivors walking around in there purple shirts looking great!

Thank you everyone that read this and continues to send prayers and support! I could not have done this without all of you!!!!

done with treatment!

I had my last radiation treatment on Thursday and I am so excited to be done! My skin could get worse for the next 2 weeks, and right the past few days have been worse, but any day it should turn around and start getting better. My neck hasn't had treatment for 2 weeks and has started to heal up. It looks better than I ever thought it would! The worst part was wearing stickers for 6 weeks and my allergic reaction to them. So, now I rest for about a month and go back to work in the beginning of Oct. I will have some more surgeries in about 6 months and can not wait to be really really done with it all!

Over the radiation hump!

I have completed 19 radiation treatments and have 14 more to go! I am burnt, itchy, tired, and moody. Sometimes I am so cranky I could do vicious harm to people, and other times I am laughing and joking like my regular self. So, you have been warned, I do not know when and where these moods will change, but I do try to just leave and not inflict my crazy moods on the people around me. I am excited that the end is getting closer, not cartwheel excited. The worst is yet to come so I am bracing myself and hoping for the best.
Ok,my hair is growing back nice and thick, and maybe even less gray, please do not let me be jinxed for saying that! I put a little product in it and it looks messy and kind of cute. I am happy with it, however it seems to be so bittersweet to me because of, in my opinion, the ridiculous behavior it brings out. People ask me if I love it, tell me about dreams they had of me with my long hair flowing in the wind, and some attack me rubbing roughly while drawling an annoying hooooowwwwww cuuuuuuute or oh my gosh, no one else could pull that off! really people? I think you mean well, I am sure you do, ok, I really hope you do. But these comments are killing me! Maybe that's why I want to do harm.... I am not sure what I would do to my friends if I was on the other side. However, I think it is like a pregnant belly, ask before you touch and NEVER, EVER, and I mean EVER mention how tiny they were just a few months ago. So applying the same philosophy would be ask if you want to rub or lick (yeah that was a fun one), and do not ever ever ever bring up my long beautiful hair that you never realized had so much gray. If you apply this logic when approaching me I promise not to punch you in the nose, kind of like a twisted game of tit for tat. When people say they want to touch it, I almost always let them, I even point out the softest spots, really it has never been softer, but it is new baby hair, you would never rub a babies head that hard! It is delicate and please do make even one strand fall out!
The other thing on my mind, if you are still reading after my hair rules tirade, is the under 40 cancer survivor. There are so many issues related to this age group. I am learning new things ever day! Did you know that our survival statistics have not improved since 1970?!?!?! OMG!!! We are the least represented in studies, are more likely to be diagnosed at stage III and IV, have an average annual income of $35,00, are the least insured group, and so many other terrible things! I love reading and learning more, but I am afraid to keep reading. Who knows what I will find!
If you are reading this as a note on facebook, please take a look at my blog page, I have links to other sites with cool info and pretty charts and graphs.... we are still a tin foil society right? http://janicebardone.blogspot.com/