One year mark, back to work, and reconstruction! So exciting!

Tomorrow will be one year since I was diagnosed. It's more than a little bittersweet. I don't want to celebrate or even bring attention to this date, but it was such a huge event and unfortunately my life still has traces of the experience. Everyday I move further and further away from the life as a cancer patient and feel stronger everyday. My hair is getting longer and is super curly! I have been back to work for three weeks and finally don't feel like a foreigner. It took about two weeks to feel like I belonged there. Everything looked familiar and I knew everyone, but nothing was the same. I have been there for so long that it was really weird to come in and not know everything that's going on. But now I am really caught up! I was able to fully participate in management meetings, submit variance reports, and review the 2010 budgets. I know I am a cheese ball, but it feels great! And while completing these tasks I can piece together what has happened since I was gone. It is clear that people pulled together to fill in the gaps and it makes me feel good to see that I wasn't forgotten or looked over as the company continued to grow and move forward. Tomorrow is our annual staff retreat and I am looking forward to spending time with everyone.

As my new life falls into place I no longer find myself wishing for my old life back. I will start the reconstruction surgeries next week on Oct. 30th. The first surgery will be the longest, 5-6 hours. I will have the lat flap surgery on the left side with a skin sparing mastectomy on the right side. They will insert expander implants that will be filled with saline over time to stretch tissue making room for my permanent implants. After that I will have a few more surgeries to tidy everything up, then I will be done! So excited!!

And, I still have the lingering effects of chemo brain! I just walked into the garage and was surprised to find that I had already moved clothes from the washer to the drier. I was genuinely surprised! My mom says this year I can hide my own Easter eggs! Most days aren't this bad, but at the end of the week, it's pretty sad!