Tumor Marker Update

I just called the doctor's office to get the results from my last blood draw. I thought I could go with no news is good news but I couldn't wait anymore!! And.... It was good news! In September they were 5.2 and 13.6 and now, drawn on November 6th, they are 4.1 and 11.4 respectively. Yeah!!!! If you have been praying, please keep doing so, I'm not sure how or why this is happening to me, I'm very grateful and don't want it to change!!

PET scan results!!!

So first let me start with apologizing that I lied. I have been telling everyone that I wouldn't get my PET scan results until October 9th. Usually on result day I am anxious, so are my friends and family. That results in a flood of texts and calls that can be overwhelming on top of my already anxiety ridden state. So, I lied. I bought myself an extra week just in case it took me a little while to get used to the news and to be able to actually say it aloud. That's usually when reality of these results hit, when I hear myself say them. So to give myself some time to accept the results and get over the news, I lied. I really went in today for the results. And they were amazing!!!! Absolutely amazing!!! I'm still in shock. The PET scan picks up any active cancer cell, mine showed none. There was not one cell light up light a star. My doctor showed me the results compared to the lat PET scan, the previous scan was light up like the milky way with cancer cells everywhere but concentrated in and around my right lung. The most recent scan just showed a bunch of organs and bones. Nothing was light up. The doctor read the report to me, and I couldn't grasp it, it didn't make scene. It didn't sound like the other reports describing where and how bad the cancer was. So I asked her what she was saying what did it mean? Everything was in slow motion and I was trying so hard to figure out what words she was even saying. Then she said plain as day, there are no active cancer cells. Wait! What? No active cancer cells. Like no new cancer cells? No, there are no active cancer cells at all, anywhere. Oh my God! What does that mean? How did that happen? Ok, let's break it down.... It means that if I have any cancer cells in me, they are dormant. Like a dormant volcano. At any time they can "wake up" and start reeking havoc again, but for now, they are sleeping. Let's hope they aren't sleeping and they are in fact dead and gone! But just in case they are only sleeping and one of them does decide to wake up, the doctors are putting me on a hormone therapy that will block any estrogen made from the pituitary and adrenal glands. Since my cancer is fed by estrogen, this plan should starve any cell that "wakes up". The doctors don't know how long I will remain in this state, but of course we hope for a long long time. She said it could be a month or years. I would describe my attitude as positively apprehensive. While I am beyond excited and hopeful that this will last many years, I am apprehensive. The cancer cell I had was very aggressive and came back only 2 years after I was in remission. The doctors were very clear that they do not consider this remission. How did this happen? A miracle. Truly, this is the only answer I have. The doctors didn't expect this good of results, and my doctor has never seen results like this herself. She has heard of cases similar and talked of a man that transferred in to the cancer center I go to and said that he had 3 months of dormant cells before he had to return to treatment. What happens now? Well, I need to build my strength up. I am really out of shape. I have not exercised in a year. My lungs have a lot of scar tissue, which is why I still can't breathe well and the scar tissue can cause pain. After a few weeks of being off of chemo I will have a better idea of what pain was from chemo and what was from the scar tissue. So I will continue with my pain management routine and slowly get back in shape. I'm going to look into master programs that I can complete in Visalia. I had just started my masters when I was diagnosed last year and haven't even completed a units yet, so switching programs shouldn't be too difficult. Needless to say, my family and friends are beyond excited and grateful. There are so many people praying for me and I know that all of those prayers have made this happen. I'm not sure if it is quantity or quality, so if you have been praying, please don't stop now! I can't wait to wake up tomorrow and enjoy a full day of being cancer free.... Every day for over a year the back of my mind has been completely focused on cancer and the fact that I had a 1% chance of living 2 years. I guess those stats haven't really changed, but my cancer status has and I can't wait to live without cancer! God is amazing and I am so grateful! Thank you for every prayer and well wish, they have all made a difference.

PET scan update

So, I got my scan done on September 20th and should have results by next week, October 9th. People ask if the doctor would call me if there was major news, I doubt it. Since remission is unlikely, by unlikely I mean it would take a miricale from God- and I'm not ruling that out!- but it is unlikely, the bad news has been delivered and the plan is to treat my symptoms. So, the doctor will probably not be calling to change the appointment. I love that people are always trying to read the doctors actions, or lack of action to predict results. One thing I have learned through all of this is that there is no predicting what they are going to say. I can not change the results, I have to prepare myself for anything and I always hope for the best. I still hope to hear wow! Sorry we made the biggest mistake and you just have pneumonia. Wouldn't that be great?!?! I pray for that often, but it hasn't happened, yet! So I will keep you posted and as soon as I get the news, I will be posting all of the details. In other news.... My 20 year high school reunion is coming up!!! Amazing! Megan is flying in to visit for the week and I couldn't be more excited!! I love spending time with all of my friends and Megan lives so far away that I haven't seen her since I was diagnosed last year. We are going to have the best time together and the reunion should be nice too! I even took a week off from chemo so I won't be sore and all drugged up when she comes! In other other news.... Did you notice that an entire year has passed?!?! I'm pretty happy about that! Before I was diagnosed, the Stanford doctors reminded me that if in we're to have a reoccurrence that the survival rate is 1% in 2 years. So having already passed a year I am very happy! I hope to pass the 2 year mark just as smoothly! I live spending time with my family and friends so much! I don't like when I can't get around to see all if them and right now I feel very behind in visiting with many of them. What a problem to have right?!? Too many friends an family! Ha! That's my favorite problem to have! Love you! Janice XOXO

Latest Dr Visit

I see my oncologist on day 1 of every chemo session. Each session is three weeks or 21 days long, I get chemo on day one and day seven, so once a week for the first two weeks, and then the last week is recovery. So days 8-21 are spent getting over the chemo. Day 3 & 4 and day 10 & 11 or Thursday - Friday after getting chemo on Tuesday are pretty sucky and painful. But the rest of the days, I feel pretty good. I am tired and sleep more, but there are some days I feel absolutely wonderful and some days that are just ok. So on my last day 1, or first chemo appointment, my doctor did the regular physical examination and asked how I was doing. I have a new cough, it could be allergies, but we all agreed it is something to keep our eye on. Of course the next day, I suddenly stopped coughing. Maybe my doctor prays for me too! :) Either way I am happy it seems to be at least random and not progressively getting worse as I thought for the last 2 weeks. This appointment also marked 6 full months of chemo. Wow! I never thought I would be able to do that! Never! I am really proud of myself. When I first heard my doctors wanted me on chemo, they said three months. I said ok, reluctantly.... The longest stretch I had pulled of before was 8 weeks. I never thought I would be able to do 12 weeks! But of course, I needed to do something to control the tumors taking up room in my chest cavity, I needed to make room for my lungs to expand with air. So I agreed to 3 months while inside I was really worried if I would be able to pull it off. Now at 6 months, double what I thought I might, just might, be able to do, I am hoping for more! Keep it coming! Keep me breathing! I LOVE breathing!!! When I first started chemo, I could barley take a deep breath. I would get winded so easily. I remember being out of breath opening gifts at my bridal shower. I have never seen anyone out of breath from opening gifts! Maybe it was all the awesome gifts, or maybe it was that I just couldn't breathe. Anyway, I can breathe much better now (if you want to you can send me gifts to test the theory, my day is only a week away, just sayin') and my tumor markers are staying within normal ranges. They do go up and down and all around, but as long as they stay relatively normal, my doctors and I are happy. They did order a new PET scan. Last year, today- September 13, was the day I had my PET scan that showed my doctor all the terribleness. He described it as non-operable and non-treatable. While I still hope that something pops up in the world of cancer treatment that will make him eat those words, we will continue to treat the symptoms and pray that the tumors stay small and out of major organs. I will post as soon as I have the results from the PET scan, for now it's not even scheduled. It usually takes a week or two to get in and then another week or two to read. I also have to wait about 5 business days for prior authorization from insurance.
Ok, that's all for today! I hope you have a great one!
- I didn't re-read for errors, sorry- but I need a nap, maybe I will read it later and fix any mistakes....

My New Obsession

Nails! I can't get enough of them! Here are a few inspiration pics......




















and now some of my own work.... Its not perfect, but I am having so much fun playing and switching it up.

Readings and learning to deal while staying positive

I've been looking up stuff on dying. Things to help me express myself better. Today for the first time I was able to say out loud some of my most personal thoughts on passing away. It was hard and I cried a little, but it felt so good to say. My mom has such a hard time with all of this, understandable. However, her reaction has been so hurtful, that I decided not to continue our relationship without some kind of professional help. I just came across the paragraphs below and it was so clear to me as to why I felt it is necessary to make such a difficult decision. It's not easy to not have positive support from my mom right now, but she is going through something just as difficult as I am, maybe more difficult. I love her dearly, but I can't be around such negativity and hurtful behavior. ........................................ Accept Your Response to the Illness Each person responds to news of terminal illness in his or her unique way. You, too, will have your own response, be it fear, excitement, anger, loss, grief, denial, hope or any combination of emotions. Becoming aware of how you respond right now is to discover how you will live with your terminal illness. Don’t let others prescribe how you feel; find people who encourage you to teach them how you feel. After all, there is no right or wrong way for you to think and feel. http://www.hospicenet.org/html/help_yourself.html

it's been way too long!

Wow, I haven't written in forever! Sorry! Nothing has really changed, which is the reason I haven't blogged. No news is good news I guess. I have been on a few wonderful vacations in the meantime and have had a really nice summer. I guess not working is really all that it's said to be. Except for the cash flow that is..... Ok Vaca number 1 was to New York for 10 days with my dad. 5 days in upstate visiting my sister and her family, Niagra falls and the finger lakes area. It was wonderful. Then we had a full 5 days in New York City! I absolutely loved the city! I could live there. I mean seriously, I wish I would have gone sooner, I think I would have tried to go to college there or somehow at least lived a year there. It's the most amazing place I have ever been, and I've been to some cool places. I'll try and get some pics up this week. Tony and I went to LA this past weekend to catch a Dodger game and spend some time around lala land, I love Santa Monica. I loved it so much. But mostly I loved spending time with the hubs! The rest of the time I've been getting chemo and recovering from it as much as I can before I go back for more. Lately my biggest complaint is the white blood cell booster shot. It causes so much physical pain for days and it sucks! The pain and other side effects from chemo have been pretty well managed but I can't find anything that will even touch the muscle pain I get from that booster shot. My nurses have been trying everything to help with a solution too and still nothing. So if you happen to know what helps muscle pain from nuprogen shots, I'd love to hear about it. Bone pain is more common, but i dont have that and if I did have i, its been fixed. So far I've tried oxy, aleve, Tylenol, Advil, cold shower, hot shower, laying still, stretching, clarion d, anxiety medication- pain and aciety go together like peanut butter and jelly! And finally, lots of water..... I just had a thought, one more thing to try, and I get a shot tomorrow that I can try my idea on, wish me luck! But I think it just might work, I'll keep you posted.