Not a lot happening in the medical world for me since my Stanford appointment. The calm before the storm? I meet with my oncologist tomorrow to discuss Stanford and to create a game plan from everything they said. He has already started making appointments for me with the doctors that will be part of that plan, I meet with the first one on Wednesday, a pulmonary specialist, hopefully we can get the liquid out of my chest and I can breathe! I can't wait to see my spine MRI, that has me the most anxious. I have been having back pain for a while and just never understood. I can't wait to see what it looks like. I promise to let you know about that one!
So I get questions from people and lately they are nearly the same so I thought I would answer them here in case anyone else has been wondering the same thing?
1. how do you feel about the Stanford appointment? Are you going to keep you doctor in Visalia? When do you start treatment? I know this is really three, but the answer comes down to this.... I feel good about Stanford. I like to know what's going on. I lam confident in their assessment and am not mad that my doctor didn't see everything they saw. He sent me to Stanford because it was beyond his comfort to treat. I admire my doctor for admitting when he needed someone else's opinion instead of making a best guess and treating me. he suggested Stanford, he admitted he didn't know what to do with this. That, in my opinion, is more admirable than being overconfident and doing what he wants. It takes a little while to start all of these things up. My oncologist is referring me out to the specialist that will all contribute to my treatment. Right now, I know nothing on start dates, which is why I am meeting with him tomorrow to get a better idea of how long all these things will take and in what order to tackle them.
2. Bone Marrow? Leukemia? No, my cancer is destroying my done from the outside in. It is still considered breast cancer.
3. How do I stay so positive? I have no idea! I get up and go mostly. I have been so busy with doctor appointments, I am just getting over the physical drain of going to Stanford. Then I moved, I should say, my boyfriend.... I mean Finance!!!! moved me. I woke up throwing up from too many pills and not enough food. So we set up my bed on the first trip and there I stayed most of the day. It took me three days to get my clothes hung up and those are just the clothes I ware! Not including the shoes! Once my life slows down, right? I will look into art classes or something to make life fun between all of these doctor appointments. The other part of it is that I'm not always positive. Sometimes I am sad that I will never have a 20 year marriage or babies or grandchildren. But I don't feel like I was cheated out of life. It's just the hand I got dealt. I don't take it personally or see it as a negative. I am preparing for a different type of life, one without a body that can't follow a treatment plan and tries to eat it's own bones! It's like the entire Star Wars series is happening in my rib cage. But seriously, I am ok. I am sad for my family and friends, they are the ones this is unfair for. My dad doesn't deserve this, neither does Tony.
Ok, that was more than I thought it would be. There are a few more regular questions I get, but I am going to nap for a few minutes.... If you have questions, please ask! You can post here in a comment or e-mail me.
14 years ago
